Holler If You Hear Me

It’s been a while since I have “blogged”. I don’t know why. I actually really enjoy writing and (I guess) getting thoughts out of my head. It can be dangerous to keep thoughts in your head. Plus, thoughts can park themselves in prime real estate of your brain. So, I was getting in the habit of getting those thoughts out to clear up said real estate for new ones. It’s been a while, so the real estate is losing value. Time to clean up the neighborhood.

The main thing that has been squatting in my brain has been a hard subject to talk about. Mostly, because it’s easy to sound (my least favorite term) “bitter”. But, what How I see it, it’s never been a “bitter” feeling, just a confused, disappointed and depressing question and subject.

That question is “what happened?”. What happened to me in the last 10 years? Where did the career I had worked so hard for go and how did it go away so quickly. This subject was one that over the years through reading social media posts and speaking with friends, former colleagues and just general observance I saw that this isn’t a subject and question that I alone ponder.

I also saw that it wasn’t a “music business” issue. It’s an everything one. I know that business evolves, everything does, but when I was younger, it didn’t happen this fast. Maybe it’s the new world standard. Everything is just happening prematurely. When I started in the music business, I could look at my mentors and they were the age I am now, with many years left in their long careers. Somewhere along the line, that life expectancy was cut in half. Something i wish I knew would happen before i started. I would have looked into another profession.

But it’s not just me. It’s many people. People in the world where the 401k automatically was getting fed with every paycheck stopped getting fed a decade ago. The world where insurance has become a game of hoping nothing too bad happens while putting it on hold until you have enough money to sign up again for a plan that covers more than one check up a year. A world where you are actually better off dead than alive for your kids, because the one smart thing you did was invest and make sure to pay your life insurance policy.

So back to the question of “what happened?”....

Well, everything did. For me, it was the music business began to shrink. As a creative person, you are only as good as your last hit and I always ran a marathon. I worked with artists for the long haul. But as the business started changing, the marathon winner was a dreamer. It became a sprint game. A very crowded sprint game.

So, luckily I adjusted. Before the Napster years, I was (rather painfully) removed from a job that I had done well in. Why, doesn’t matter. But, at that time, I moved coasts and wanted to dip my feet into a new pool and learn something new that I had zero understanding on. The idea was to expand my knowledge to make me a better rounded person and not one dimensional. I learned under one of the best and was grateful for that 2 year crash course. After that tenure, I was spent and needed a break. Took a sabbatical (also known as not being able to find a job) and just got back to remembering why I got into it in the first place. I listened to music and went to shows again not because I “had to”, but because I wanted to. Because of that forced head clearing and time away from the grind of it, I was able to actually enjoy it again and found myself stumbling upon many new bands, writers, scenes, etc. It was magical.

From that, I voluntarily began helping these artist meet people in the business that I still knew. I had been fortunate to where I can at least still get a call answered and a song listened to based on my reputation and relationships. Don’t know about that these days though. More in that later. Anyway, bands got signed (and did quite well), managers got new clients (and did really well) and from that, I actually got a 2nd life at a label and publishing company. I thought i was out... and they pulled me back in. This was not a curse at all, but a blessing.

I had another amazing run at my new company for 5 years. See when I took a job anywhere, i was retiring there if it was up to me. Didn’t take a job to get a job. You hired me, you got me for life. Loyal as fuck.

Also during that time(Well before you could have 10 jobs at once), being at a label meant you couldn’t do outside jobs or work outside of your contract as it was seen as a conflict of interest. Understandably so. Today, you can work as a VP for a parent label, have a label, own a publishing company and manage producers and songwriters where you sign an artist to your label that is paid for by the parent label, but the artists needs to work with your songwriters that you publish and are produced by the producers and engineers you manage. Sounds fair. But I digress...

Anyway, even though i worked for the label and publishing company, I had many developing interests in artists and ideas that weren’t ready for prime time. So, through a friends developing company, I made an arrangement that would allow me to bring in said not ready for prime time players and ghost manage them. What that meant was for every act i would bring in, I would be the silent manager and one of the people at the management company, would co-manage and be the “face”. Which was great for me. I could be involved, if there was any money to be made, i could invest it back into the management company (because i had a salary and wasn’t looking to double dip), but by investing back, I was setting up my next career should my job ever go away, while helping manage the careers of these up and comers. I never take credit, but that has been a huge mistake for me, because by being humble and letting the light shine onto others, I have gotten erased from history. If it wasn’t for other people being around at that time and seeing it first hand, and me saving all the emails and instant messages, I would actually be a ghost and/or a liar.

See, this is where you may be rolling your eyes and calling me bitter. I know... it sounds like me bitching and crying. So, why does this matter?

Well, because this was around the time when “what happened?” starts.

It starts here because this is when label mergers went into full gear. I would say around 2005. The company I was at was NY based and I was in the West Coast office (staff of 27). As the mergers started within a 2 year period, the staff went from 27, to 22, to 17 to 13 (when i was made redundant) to 9 to 7 to a logo.

When my tenure ended, I would have thought that I had a place to go, since I had invested and been a pretty important part of a roster that changed them from being a rap metal management roster (with some up and coming writers who weren’t quite there yet, but got there and boy did they... FYI... absolutely ZERO to do with me). I only claim the bands and direction as something I had to do with. But, in the last year before my redundancy, there was an “issue” that happened at the company. And from my stand point, where there might have been good cause or reason, I didn’t agree with the manner it was handled. Of course, with my stupid punk rock ethics, had to state my thoughts. Anyone that knows me (and these people were family to me) I need to speak my mind for when something doesn’t feel right ethically. In this case the handling of the situation and the financial resolution were both handled very poor and quite honestly, hurtful to witness. The company was built on being the “good guys” and the exit and restitution was not what a “good guy” would do and I said it. Only thing was, you don’t say those types of things to the most liked person in the world. But, like i said, this person was like family to me and I’m open and honest with family, just to hope they see things from another side that’s not coming from anything other than honesty. Bad move.

Long story short, there was no home for me to go to. Persona non grata. It actually took almost 5 years to start repairing that one. I think it’s pretty good now. Very sad it will never be what it was. It’s hard to find friends out here that you feel are true. But, that’s life. The company flourished and continues. I’ve heard my “involvements” pop up here and there, but they are very watered down, so I’ve almost been written out completely, but I still have a gravestone somewhere that gets some sun every once in a while.

I have never seen much of a hand raised to look out for me. Is that because my former partner knows about my pride? Who knows, but it does contribute to “what happened?”.

On the other side, the friend I stood up for, he has reinvented himself and done great on his own. But again, I professionally haven’t seen anything float my way. He's one of the most righteous and genuinely nice people I know. His friendship all these years is reward enough for me.

Now it sounds like I’m bitter again. I know. But it’s not bitter. I think in this world where survival has become harder. We all know it’s who you know. So, in this case, I know some heavy motherfuckers. So “what happened?” that knowing the biggest people out there, I’m out here wondering how to get a new client or how to reach someone i used to know on behalf of my current clients, because I “seem” to know a lot of people and “seem” to have a pretty great reputation.

I do pride myself on being someone who can make it on his own. Over time, I realized that is more of my way with dealing with people not being as open about assisting me. I have zero problem helping people. It’s actually rewarding for me to see someone succeed from any contribution I made. I’m not saying I’m better than others, but much like my realization of how to deal with feelings alone out here, my helping others rewards me and gives me hopes that somehow through karma, it’ll come back to me. Spoiler alert... it doesn’t. But if it makes you (me) feel better, that should be reward enough.

I have always said, if karma points were air miles, I could fly around the world 1st class at least 3 times. But, they aren’t. Coach it is.

So being the “make it on your own” person I have become. Since the “what happened” period started, I have looked of ways to reinvent myself. Learn something new. Be well rounded. Be a person that can do everything really well. Not kinda ok. I mean like do any task. I learned a lot by trial and error. Never scared to try something and if I wasn't able to do it, i would teach myself. That has kept me going for a long time. So in these years of figuring it out day by day, every once in a while an opportunity would come up that I would look at (now this is where many of you reading this can really relate). These opportunities (another way of saying “jobs”) would come via word or mouth, recommendation or job posting (the worst). I’m not one who looks at a job and says “eh, I can kinda do that...”, I have to look at it and say “fuck this... I can do ALL of that”. So whether it’s word or moth, recommendation or job posting, I’m gonna give it a shot. I would say I get a call 2/10 times. Job posting is all key words and apparently, if your resume has all the job qualifications they list (word for word) none of those are the actual key words to get you looked at, so you get the automated “thanks but you don’t meet the qualifications we are looking for”, even though your resume has ALL of the qualifications they listed. When it comes to word of mouth or recommendation, by the time you get in contact, 9/10 times they already have someone (in house hire), so they might schedule you an interview out of courtesy or just have an assistant “reschedule” you until they just stop rescheduling.

I have two potential “opportunities” that stood out to me. They were both jobs i was very qualified for. One I didn’t even know was a potential “opportunity” until it was brought to my attention. This one was something that would have been called a “dream job”. I went to see an old friend with an idea. Some say I’m a dreamer. I had this idea for a way to exploit a catalog in a really creative way that would both make fans happy and be a way for a new audience to discover this band. Though this idea, there could be a new “soundtrack” vs repackaging the same shit over and over. A win for the label, a win for the publishers, a win for merchandise and a huge win for the legacy. Let’s call the band... I don’t know... ok... the Ramones. If anyone knows me, I kinda like the band. So I called an old friend who was so sweet and willing to meet with me. He did not need to at all. He’s very busy and I just appreciated the courtesy. Real stand up move. Went in, told my idea, somehow the conversation steered to him wanting to expand and had been thinking about adding someone. He knew my background and while it had some of the skills, there was a lot to learn. So, I was beyond excited and have zero issues learning from the bottom up. I’m a fast learner and put me in a new environment and I’m there to soak up as much as I can. I am a great utility player. Don’t ever want to be captain, just want to be on the team and hope to help the team win. Fast forward, he has me meet with his current team as i would be working under them and learning the ropes. Again, no ego here. Just excited about the opportunity.

Meet for lunch with the two guys and I start off by saying how much I love The Ramones and how they are one of my favorite bands, to where the reply was “yeah... they are everyone’s favorite band”. I knew at that moment this was going to be a long/short lunch. The whole time there, i was just trying to break the wall and just let them get to know me. It wasn’t gonna happen. With every description of how shitty the tasks would be, i would reply with great enthusiasm. It was legitimate. After about 40 minutes, the main guy asks for the check and stands up and says “ok thanks. We’ll get back to you after the holiday”. Thanksgiving was coming up. So, he starts to walk away towards the parking lot. Exactly where i was going. That exit was not too smooth. We then get down the stairs and he abruptly says goodbye again... only to start walking in the same direction as me. It appeared we were parked next to each other. One last goodbye and finally he is rid of me. I sent a follow up email to them thanking them for their time, and email their boss saying how much I enjoyed them.

A week after Thanksgiving, I have not heard from them. So, I email with a joke saying “well, we never specified after which holiday i would hear from you, so I hope to hear from you by MLK day”. I guess that didn’t go over well. I never got a reply. The Ramones have released some great repackages of albums I have bought 3 times already.

The other job, falls into the category of word of mouth/recommendation. It was a job at a company that I have actually been praising in their business model for the 21st century. I was told of this position by a friend who actually interviewed for it, but couldn’t relocate, so suggested me (one of my best friends to this day with as many stories, if not more, than me). I went into this meeting at very high recommendation by very high level people, so at least i would be considered as a potential candidate. This job I actually fit every single qualification.

The day of the meeting, i went in, was actually there for over an hour, and answered and knew every single thing they asked and had answers to every question asked. Thai was my world. No on the job training needed. All was going well when the hiring manager (in the middle of me speaking) just stands up and says “ok. Thanks for your time. I have to go”. He walked out the door while shaking my hand and I just stood there like a person staring at the gate as the plane pulls away. I left, emailed both of the people I met with. Thanked them for their time and appreciated them taking so much time out of their day. Never heard from either again.

I found out a week later from my friend who suggested me that he had gotten an email from the main person saying they had hired someone already. The date of that email was the same day I went in to interview. I wish I could have that hour of my life back.

I have spent a lot of time just shrugging my shoulders and saying “oh well”, but oh well has become “what happened?”.... what did I do to put myself in this situation? I would get it if I was an asshole to people, kicked puppies or screwed people over, but I wasn’t, I don’t and I haven’t.

I’m not bitter, just confused. Wondering what will be next, how can I fix it, can I fix it, where will I be next year?

I’m thankful for my kids. They have nothing but hope in their eyes and their futures. That’s what makes me keep on keeping on. I love what I do. I'm fortunate that I am able to still work doing what I have done for 25 years, I still have no ego about who I am or what I do. I can meet with big wigs, i can throw out the garbage. Who gives a shit. I teach young, talented students at a university and I still work with artists that can sell out venues and sell directly to fans through social media only, i have gotten to develop young artists purely DIY and have been able to get them going, slowly growing a career. The marathon mentality. So, no complaints professionally. I just wish it was more stable.

I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this. So what happened? I still don't know, but you aren't alone. Stay positive.

Holler if you hear me.

Up In Smoke*

*I couldn't think of a better title that describes cannabis and the state of artist discovery and development in 2016

I had a blast the other night appearing on the Elevate the Conversation podcast/show with @IAmDoctor420.

I'm a huge advocate for the use of cannabis as a medicinal alternative. I always have been. I think the amount of prescribed and over the counter medications that exist that are part of the pharmaceutical is such a huge business and so dangerous in long terms and in addiction, that to ignore the benefits of naturally grown cannabis to deal with the ailments a lot of the patients go to use cannabis is absolutely criminal. Cannabis is considered a class 1 drug by the DEA. That puts it in the category with Heroin, crystal Method and other drugs that are chemically created and have a dangerous effect in long term use. This alone is absurd.

Of course, the social and recreational use is a huge part of medicinal cannabis, but let's look at what we are talking about. It's not heroin. Seriously.

I have always heard the term "gateway" drug when referring to cannabis and that in itself is ridiculous. That's like saying beer is a gateway to alcoholism. These are both social and recreational substances that when enjoyed are normal. When abused, sure they can be dangerous. The only difference is you don't get in fights when medicated. You go to sleep. You don't hear about medicated driving as much as you hear about drunk driving. Shit, more people drive high on Xanax daily (pharmaceutical approved) and that's dangerous as fuck. Combine that with alcohol and you have people blacking out. You don't black out in cannabis.

The "gateway" factor comes from something deeper in someone's subconscious and issues that elevate the opportunity of addiction. But, you can't blame that path in cannabis. If you do, blame Zoloft, Paxil, klonopin, Xanax, oxycontin and every other prescribed medication. Abuse is going to happen as long as people are prescribed them and don't deal with other issues that drive them to addiction.

I grew up with a mother who had rheumatoid arthritis. I think she was on (at least) 6 different meds a day to treat various things. She didn't want to live on those. Who does? In the mid 80's I remember she was prescribed medicinal cannabis to help with certain parts of her daily pains and ailments. I don't think she stuck with it as long as someone would, but in 1985, medicinal cannabis was not understood or agreed on socially and medically. So, in the long run, she stuck with prescribed meds and drank socially. Socially of course leads to drinking daily. She wasn't an alcoholic, but defiantly drank to close out the night. Again, I don't blame her. I can't imagine what it was like to be in her body, looking at the world through limited opportunities, mostly physically. Not being about to walk, do things independently, like cook dinner for us. But she was my queen in teaching me how to do it through her. I'm grateful. I can't imagine how life would have been if the stigma of cannabis use was not so frowned upon. I think she would have had an easier time than resorting to drinking. Plus, for a frail woman, her appetite would have increased rather than not being able to eat well because of all the pills that I'm sure mixed would make you nauseous and unable to actually eat.

I've known many addicts and alcoholics in my life. I must say, it's a rare thing when you get to know one who doesn't have a story of some sort of traumatic experience that has been buried or silenced for decades that comes out eventually and they turn to substance abuse, but never has it been from smoking a joint.

I'm a casual user. If I was Cheech and Chong, I'd be Cheech. The guy that looks the part, acts the part, but when it comes down to it, is a huge lightweight. When I'm with friends, they can blaze up and I just look in amazement on what they can take down and function. I know my limits. My best friend is my Chong. She could match Snoop Dogg dab for dab. But what's amazing to me is, she's 100% aware, functional and responsible. Sure a pothead, but not the stereotypical, living in her parent garage not working and not doing anything. I admire the dedication and love she has for her job, being reliable and aware. That's today's real cannabis users. Of course the basement living stereotypes exist, but it's not all of them.

There people that I always have had a problem with that criticized and looked down upon cannabis use. I think I'm pretty safe to say that 80% of them were wine drinkers. Very judgmental while having no problem posting photos of them at a winery enjoying a Merlot or at a "classy" gathering of cheese and wine.

Well, let's compare the two.

Both come and are cultivated by the earth. Makers of wine are artists. They blend, they are scientific about it, where they grow it, weather conditions. The same can be said about cannabis growers. What they do with earth, blending and cultivating grows these plants into beautiful works of nature.

The time to harvest, the time it takes to actually get it ready, pick at the right time and prepare. Both growers are very organic and try not to grow with pesticides and harmful products to compromise their grows.

In wine, you have a Sommeliers who is an expert in wine to help you find exactly what you are looking in taste and mood as well for pairing with food. In cannabis, dispensaries have experts who go the same. What are you looking for in flavor, mood, feel and ailment.

When you open a bottle of wine, you smell, taste and have a process to judge the quality. With cannabis, the dispensary will have jars of flower that you can smell, look at under a magnifying glass to see the bud up close and see the beauty, colors and texture of the strain.

Even to the point of the enjoyment, the crafting of glass. In wine, beautiful glass is made to drink from, decanters all for presentation and use. Same is done with cannabis. Glass is blown for pipes, dab rigs and bongs. They are works of art that are useful.

So, in the end the similarities are there, but the stigma of cannibus makes these wine appreciating people superior culturally over cannibus users.

My thing about this is that is I feel like these people that frown upon cannabis users while drinking their wine is they maybe should put themselves in the place of these people that use it for medicinal purposes to aid them with an illness that include nausea, loss of appetite, migraines, fatigue, anxiety and so many other ailments people go to cannabis for... Ironically, the same side effects you have from drinking too much... Wine.

You go to a dispensary in Los Angeles and it never fails who you run into. People of all races, religions, age and socioeconomic backgrounds. It's a legitimate alternative for people. They don't judge each other while in there, the people who run these places look happy to be able to offer this service that makes people feel better. Dr. 420 was a very successful spinal surgeon prior to becoming a doctor who can give recommendation letters to grant these patients the opportunities of cannabis. He will be the first to say that it's the most gratifying thing he's ever done, because these people who come to him have been in hell for years and this is their final chance. His service is great, because in our world, the continuing stigma attached to cannabis is still frowned upon and the way he does it is not by going to Venice Beach and walking into some weird house that makes you feel like you are doing something wrong. It's over his site, he gets online with you talks to you about your issues and supports your decision. If I wasn't a patient already and wasn't sure of the decision, after talking to him, I'd be sold from feeling good about it.



The show was informative, funny and I got to talk about the music business. A few people I know watched it and thought the insight I had with regard to today's music industry and musical artistry was good. I'm far from an expert. I'm a dummy who used to be in it and has a passion for music, trends (music, technology, etc) and just wants to figure it out.

If any of this sounds of interest to you and you are tired of the olympics, the 24 hour news cycle, Donald Trump and all the other bullshit we get stuck with, watch this Interview and the others he's posted from his show. There are video versions on youtube and podcast versions.



Itunes Podcast version

He's a funny motherfucker.

Oh Debbie...Hi.

I saw this documentary called Blondie's New York, that aired last week on the Smithsonian Channel (yeah, i never heard of that either).  It was about the making of the album Parallel Lines.  It featured the band and producer, Mike Chapman now, talking about making of the album, the writing and the recording.  Things like this are so awesome.  They usually have the artists sitting at a mixing console, soloing tracks as they talk about them.

Hearing Debbie Harry's vocals on "One Way Or Another" solo and her describing the recording and Mike Chapman describing his perspective really takes you back into the studio in 1977.  I could watch stuff like this all day. 

Parallel Lines was a total coming of age album for me.  I was 9 when it came out and Debbie Harry was my 1st crush.  Her voice, her look (even today) is still one of the sexiest women out there. 
From the moment "Hanging on the Telephone"* starts with a UK telephone ring tone, I get transported to when I first heard the album.  It still sounds just as fresh as it did 36 years ago.
*"Hanging on the Telephone" was originally written by The Nerves

Of course, this made me feel nostalgic and sad that bands like this don't exist anymore.  So while I spent all this time listening over and over to the album, my mind subconsciously ventured to another band favorite of mine from the 90's, Letters To Cleo.

I can't believe I never drew the comparison.  Not that Letters to Cleo were trying to be Blondie, they just shared a lot of the same musical DNA. Which would easily explain my immediate attraction to the band.

Blondie.  6 members.  Guitar and Singer relationship, killer drummer and key bookends to seal it all up.

Letters to Cleo.  5 members (ok not 6 like Blondie, but stick with me).  Guitar and singer relationship, killer drummer and key bookends to seal it up.

Singer.  Both women, Deborah Harry and Kay Hanley are tough as nails, beautiful and very distinct voices with as much attitude as sex appeal.

Both Chris Stein and Mike Eisenstein (Hello?  "Stein"?) are amazing guitar players and songwriters that complemented their romantic halves.

Stacy Jones and Clem Burke, both amazing drummers who both went on to play with other artists and hold amazing drummer reputations and great hair.

I'm not looking to short change Nigel Harrison, Jimmy Destri, Frank Infante, Scott Riebling or Greg McKenna but I don't want to go too into the history that I have looked up and know way too much.  I'm a fan, what can I say...

Musically, both bands crafted great pop/rock songs.  Both had great lyrics with a great sarcasm and truth.  Romance, great chorus and just great musicianship.  Their live shows also carried this vibe and you couldn't take your eyes off of their charismatic singers.

I had the pleasure of getting to know Letters To Cleo and call a few of them friends!  Even their Manager, Creamer who I love even though he's a Red Sox fan... That's a whole other blog. 

Kay even performed one time with Sponge on Conan O'Brien as a guest while they were on tour together.  Even with her just standing in the back singing back ups, she stole the show. 

Letters to Cleo never reached the level I feel they should have, but that's not their fault.  If the label was like Chrysalis was in the 70's and 80's, I have no doubt they would have gotten there.  The business was just different. Their records to me are timeless.

Blondie keeps doing it, Debbie Harry is still hot.  The songs are forever and albums like Parallel Lines are what make me LOVE music.

I have had a great week just listening to both catalogues of 2 great bands.  If reading this gets you to revisit them on YouTube, pull albums from your catalogue or even Spotify. 

If you trashed all your old albums,  I hope you take the time to go to a record store, buy a CD, LP or even to iTunes and put these bands into your rotation for a week.   It will leave you with a smile on your face.

Blondie are New York and Letters to Cleo are one of the only things I will ever admit to loving from Boston.

Paint A Vulgar Picture

After being someone who worked in the music industry for half my life, the one thing I dreaded becoming was the guy that would look at new bands or labels and say things like "back in my day".  I'm only 44, so my day wasn't really that long ago.

The speed that things have changed (not for the better) is incredible.  I don't care about the music and whether it's shitty or just unoriginal replicas of music from the past.  Ok I do care, but that's not the point of this post.  My issue today is how the opportunity of growth and development for an artist or band has become a thing of the past at a major label.  Now before I hear all about the indies, etc, that also is not the point of this.  I'm more talking about the boutique labels that existed as placed to grow and nurture before the big money and hits came.  Labels that existed within a label or were distributed by a major system, but didn't have the major label money to spend to develop those bands.  Sure the costs today are higher and the demise of record stores are also part of that, but there is always a way to adapt and adjust while still carrying on with the same marketing strategy.

Labels like IRS, Stiff, Reprise are ones that immediately come to mind.  But more important to me, Sire. Sire was home to The Ramones, Talking Heads, The Smiths, Madonna... The list is endless of great artists and bands. Sire was special mostly because if their large range of musical taste.  What they brought was almost always quality stuff that was new or important (even if we didn't know yet).  The commitment they had to artists was what mattered.  I didn't work with any bands that were on the label, nor did I work there (so those people might have a different thoughts), but I base my opinions on how I saw it.  Some of these bands broke into super stardom, some never got as big as they should have, but they did make a careers worth of material to be a band as a career (for the most part).  But specifically, Sire put out albums that made a mark and were important in their quality and what they will mean to people in the future.  Benchmark albums that get cited in the "most influential album" lists. 

I just got the brilliant new album by Against Me!

Transgender Dysphoria Blues is an album that belongs on Sire.  The only problem is, Sire dropped them 4 years ago.

Against Me! Had the luxury of putting out 3 albums independently and 2 on Sire.  The first release came out on (very small indie) No Idea.  Got a place to grow and build a fan base with Fat Wreck Chords for 2 albums.  Following those releases, they then made the bold move to Sire for the next 2 releases.  I'll be honest, I would always get mad when punk bands did this move to a major.  And I'll say it.  This was always because I was jealous that it wasn't me doing it.  That's the truth.

The move to Sire was to grow bigger, get more opportunities, sell more records.  Makes sense.  Sire made sense. Shit, if I was managing them, I would have done it too.  Only at this point the business was changing and the major label system wasn't changing with it.  The life span of a new or developing artist is not very long.  The numbers needed to keep a band working on a major are also amazing.  Because a release that sells 50,000 copies is a huge success on an indie, but a flop on a major. 

Against Me! did exactly what what it was supposed to do.  They made 2 great album and got bigger.  They grew with the opportunity.  They were following the Sire model.  Only, Sire wasn't that Sire anymore and that model was long broken. I'm not blaming those that were there, it's just the system and the loss of artist development vision.  They tore the trees from the field for not growing fast enough.  Sure, sometimes things happen faster, but that's a fluke (Offspring).  They failed to let them grow even though the roots were strong.   The billboard debuts for both records showed they were on their way.  New Wave entered at 57 and the follow up White Crosses at 34.  The touring was growing and the merchandise was insane, radio was playing them.  So why drop them?  It became a numbers game and the cost of keeping them wasn't worth it.  If this was the case back in the day, The Ramones would never have gotten to Road to Ruin, The Smiths would never have gotten to The Queen is Dead and Talking Heads would never have been able to release Fear of Music.

It looks like it became a blessing in disguise because on January 21st, 4 years after White Crosses came out, Against Me! debuted at number 34.  The album was released on Total Treble Music, the bands own label.

I'm happy for them, because this is a true rock and roll record.  If say punk album, but the word has been butchered so much, it would devalue it.  They never gave up and instead Laura Jane Grace and the band put it all into this, almost rebirth of Against Me!

Transgender Dysphoria Blues is an album about depression, living as someone you aren't, all the things that come with it and changing who you are and the what comes with that.  I think it's a important album for anyone who is struggling with any of these issues to know they aren't alone and hopefully gives them strength to live a full and happy life.  It's also an album for people to feel the pain some people have when dealing with these issues as well.  Learn how they feel and how to be supportive.

I hope as an indie, it gets the attention it deserves, but I can't help but wish it had a chance with the support of a Sire of yesteryear.  This album would fit right up there next to classics like Meat is Murder and Music for the Masses or Remain in Light

When The Smiths released the album "Strangeways Here We Come", the song Paint A Vulgar Picture always stood out to me.  Mostly because of the music and melody, but also because of the lyrics.  I kind of got what Morrissey was saying, but not really until I got into the business.  The story behind the song, is basically when an artist dies, the record company finds a way to parade the catalogue and anything they can to make a buck from what's over.

Catalogue is the meat of a label to make money.  It makes sense.  Exploit the catalogue, hope to please fans and make new ones while getting as much from your investment than you can.

But to sell a catalogue, you need to have a catalogue.  Having a greatest hits album with only 2 albums worth of catalogue is not a career.

By not developing artists anymore like they used to by investing time and money in something they believe in is killing it off, shortening careers and aborting the possibility of what could be.   

Just imagine if the business was then how it is today.  I'm sure you can make a list of bands who  would never have made it.

I would post a link to stream Transgender Dysphoria Blues, but I would rather you plopped down $9.99 and supported the independent artist, rock and roll and future careers.

Here's to the the underdogs and here's to Laura Jane Grace. 

Welcome to my Nightmare

This morning I took my son to school.  It was just like any other day.  He's 10 and I have been super protective of him his entire life.  I have a habit of dropping him off at school, walking him to class and watching him get settled in.

For the last couple of weeks, I have been working on having him walk to class on his own.  Give him his Independence.

So, this morning, I decided today was the day.  We got out of the car, I walked with him to the gate, said goodbye and said "have a great day" and gave him a kiss.

He walked on his own and turned twice to look back to see if I was in my same place shadowing him.  I wasn't and he kept going with a smile. 

I realized that it wasn't him that needed me to walk him to class, but it was me that needed it.  It's so hard to accept the fact that kids grow up.  I actually teared up as I watched my little man on his own.  It was the first moment in my life as a dad, where I realized he's his own person.  My Little boy is so smart, so sweet and such an inspiration to me.  He has his challenges and will never be 100% on his own, but he's on his way and I know if he gets the character and drive to succeed that is in his genetic make up, he's going to be great.

I called my wife to share the feeling and I know she also got choked up.  It's an indescribable feeling when you have that moment of pride for a child and fear of their independence.

Then I came home to see the news of the tragedy in Connecticut.  My joy turned to sadness.  For a parent, taking your kids to school and watching them grow is such a daily milestone.  School is a place to learn, to make friends and to become a person.  We look to teachers and school as a place of safety.  When I drop off my kids, i feel comfortable and confidant with their caregivers and educators.

A day like today, really makes you realize that nothing is ever in your control.  There are crazy, disturbed monsters in the world that we can't always be around to protect them.  I think there should be a word that was stronger than tragedy.

That feeling of letting my son go on his own to his classroom...the fear, the pride, the letting go of the chord that I felt so good about as taken in a moment when the reality of life and the world was put in front of my eyes by one monster and his violation and disrespect for innocence and life this morning.

I look forward to picking up Miles this afternoon, looking at his beautiful face and giving him a hug.  As long as I'm around him, nobody will ever hurt him without a fight.

and not consolation

For some reason, over the weekend I thought of Jeff Buckley.  I went through my CD's to find his album Grace.  I don't think I've listened to the album in years.  When I put it on, it made me very sad.  Sad to think about how he died and how early in his life.  The fact that what had been released was only scratching the surface of his potential. 


I knew Jeff from working at Columbia Records and from my neighborhood.  To say we were friends would be an insult to his friends, so I would say we were friendly.  When we would see each other out, we would always have a real fun chat about absolutely nothing, but he always was really nice and such a talent. 


But, listening to Grace, brought back more feeling for me than just those for Jeff.  Hearing the song "Last Goodbye" brought me back to the time of when I worked at Columbia.  The memory is so amazing, because I could feel and remember everything from the time I was there.  My friend Steve Berkowitz, who signed Jeff to Columbia, had his office 2 doors down from mine, so when he would be listening to tracks, they would come through my walls.  So, I could walk over to his office and ask him questions about it or just give my opinion.  You see, this time I'm talking about was a time when all of us in the A&R department worked together.  Not together in the same office, but together as friends and supporters.



This period of time (for me at least) wasn't in this place the whole time I was there. This was after David Kahne came in as head of the department and under the direction of our boss Don Ienner, the label was going to be lead by A&R.  Our signings were to be done for both creative growth and commercial success.  Some were instant and some we growers over time.  The idea was great and maybe really stuck for a few years, but in the end, you need to sell records (it is a business, right) and the patience for growth got a lot shorter.  Not to say it didn't exist, it was just a lot harder to wait for something to become (financially) big for the investment.  I get it.  It's a bummer, but I get it.



Anyway...so this period of time, the people I had the honor of working with were A&R people.  I'm talking about people who LOVE music and wanted to create careers (and of course have hits and sell records...yes you can do all of the above at once).  This is before the photo-op A&R people or political a&r people came to the company (these types were usually the same guys).  This is why I say it was a short period. 


We would go to bat for each other.  Give advice.  Constructive criticism.  Sure, there was definite competition, but it wasn't an angry type, it was only because you didn't want to lose out priority to someone else.  But again, it wasn't bitter, it was healthy competition. 



During this time, there were young guns like me, who had the passion, but lacked the experience.  There were the mid level executives that had the passion and the experience.  These guys were there for me and other friends to help us learn and guide us through both the creative and corporate waters.  Then there were the veterans who (in my eyes) were my elders (like "Uncle" Don Devito or "Papi" Mike Corbett), whom I respected, admired and went to for everything.  The guys that would take time out of their day to tell me old stories of working with legends, to ask me how they can help by speaking to the bosses.  It was a true team of what real trickle down guidance would look like.  In the end, you would gain experience through success.  Real on the job training.  But, trust me, without these people looking out for you and helping, you would never have gotten there.


The department didn't work in a state of fear.  I wasn't there to take anyone's job and they weren't there to steal my artist is they did well to take credit oh don't forget the photo OP.



This was a magical time for me.  I'm sure other people had a similar type of experience, but those who worked with me during this period will totally understand and recall how it was (or maybe think I was high and it was never like this).  That snapshot of how it should always be in a creative environment.  I had a good run while at Columbia and other than being my bootcamp, it's my fondest memory of my career.



I have been so fortunate in my career where I was employed at several other companies.  I have met and worked with so many amazing people and have had the honor of helping so many talented people.  To see where they are now, from where they were when I met them is so rewarding.  I have also seen where a lot of the most talented people I know fell into the dark from all the changes that happened over the years through mergers, redundancies and the general collapse of the music business and this makes me sad. 



I watched the business change as I would move from company to company and realize that I will never have that same experience I had for that period of time I had at Columbia.  The competition, the fear that others had, the backstabbing I witnessed was just a canary in the coal mine of what was going to happen.  Here we are not 15 years later and we are really just down to a handful of labels, no records stores and a lot of unemployed people.



What makes me bummed in the current environment is the talent that is hired in the entry level of the companies who have no people there to guide them.  Like I said earlier, if it wasn't for these guys in my early years, I would never have gotten anywhere.  There are so many people with the experience that exist today that could be that role at the labels, but they seem to be passed over.  So what I have seen has been a bunch of young, enthusiastic kids getting hired, who in the end have really short careers due to the fact that A&R is more than going to the clubs and knowing what bands are cool.  The veterans that are at the labels are scared to death to lose their jobs, so don't really mentor these guys to the degree they need it, so you end up with a bunch of stillborn artists and stiff releases (and a loss of jobs for these under experienced guys).  For the ones that squeak through, it's almost like a miracle (but it does happen). 



The a&r process is a lot like the idea of building from the middle class out.  With a strong group of well experienced (and helpful) people in the middle helping those learn and excel, you would grow a strong foundation and have better odds at success.  It's the middle (the core) that strengthens it all.  But, I guess it's not cost effective when you have over paid executives and really underpaid entry level people, not to mention the increase of quick turnover, conveyer belt artists that have a really, really short time to succeed before it's onto the next.




I find so much joy in finding a young musician, or a young talent booker, young a&r people with a job at a label or a student who just loves music and giving them help or guidance to meet their true potential.  There is such a reward when you see others succeed for me.  Sure, I'm currently unemployed and maybe writing this post is therapy for myself to just get it out or maybe it's hope for someone to rediscover me...who knows. 


I just know that without the support system we had at Columbia Records, I don't think myself and many of my former colleges could have ever had long term careers. 


I made some of my best friends over these years.  Some I speak to daily, some monthly and some hardly ever, but I know we all shared the same experience and we will forever be connected because of that.


I can't listen to the 90's station, Lithium or Back Spin on Sirius without hearing a song during an hour where I can say Nick, Josh, Jim, Mitchell, Mary, Randy, Matt, Faith, Benjie or Steve signed that. It's pretty amazing.



The day I heard the news of Jeff Buckley's passing, I thought of Steve.  I was sad like everyone else who was touched by his music.  Jeff was Steve's signing, but at the Columbia A&R department, he was all of our artist.  That support system was what made us so strong. 


Jeff tragically died walking into a river by himself and got caught up in a strong and violent current that swept him away into the dark. 



As I wax poetic (not Wax Ecstatic) about this period of time at Columbia Records, I feel as though this time also got pulled by a strong current of change where the art and family support system on the creative side of the music business has also disappeared into the dark. 



I hope it can come back to the light and not be our Last Goodbye...

No Sense In Us Cavemen Burning Our Hands

Today is Fathers Day.  I've been a dad for 9 years, but for some reason, this year seemed to be the first time when I felt like it was recognized by many friends and the wife.  Not to say she never recognized it, but this one felt different.  I'm sure it's because it's really the first year where I haven't had a full time office job and our 2nd kid is now 2.  Huge difference between 1 and 2.  At one, they are little things..at 2, they are little people.

It was really nice to get this unexpected recognition.  Mostly, because being a stay at home dad just becomes a job and like most jobs, you tend to feel overlooked for your achievements (understandably, because they are expected of you...just like at an office job) and criticized for for under performance (again, just like an office job).  But, being put on a pedestal and being given a day, really is rewarding.

I started out the day getting up early to go surf with my cousin and nephew... no better way to start fathers day.  And on my way called my dad.  We had a great chat and the conversation made me reflect on a lot of things.

I always looked at my father as my own personal Ward Cleaver.  He worked real hard all day.  Was a loving husband and cared about his two boys.  Like Ward, he always wore a dress shirt and slacks and dress shoes.  Would help us with our homework (sometimes got really into it and would actually DO my homework).  But, really set the bar high for me as a Father.

I had the great fortune of being raised by 2 great parents.  Both brought different things to my life, but both were equally important.  My Mom and I were extremely close and until she died. We would speak daily (usually 2 times a day) and she helped me though a lot of things.  It's tough not having her around.  My Father was important because he taught me the importance of working hard and discipline.  He taught me how to be patient, pick you battles and always go through life with understanding for others.

I actually recently found all my report card from High School and after reading them, called my dad to apologize for being an idiot in school.  Sure, I graduated, finished college in 3 years, but man, for being the son of an overachieving genius, I must have been a disappointment on the academic side for sure.

After my mother died, my dad and I went thought a bit of a rough patch, but that was short lived.  People get emotional and confusion at the loss of a family member, but in the end, the example he set for me growing up was much more valuable to me than any issue we had.  You only have one father.

I feel bad for people that don't have that kind of relationship with their families.  Understandably, many are for good reasons that make it so the should never communicate, but I have seen more that usually are from petty or short term arguments that blow out of control to where they can't put the cap on the bottle again.  It's kind of sad to watch, because when its too late to fix it, it becomes a thing that you live with forever.  It haunts your soul and you wish for that one more chance to say "I'm sorry" or "I love you".

I came home to two wonderful card from my wife and my kids.  OK... both from my wife.  And they were the most touching cards a dad could ask for.  I felt important.  Important to my family and recognized for what I have done being at home taking care of things.  Yesterday, I was down on where I am.  A former executive folding laundry and doing household chores.  Today, I feel like I'm making a difference.  I hope to be Ward Cleaver to my boys.

I don't know if this feeling will last.  It's a tough transition for any stay at home dad.  But, If I'm making the same kind of impression on my boys that my folks made on me to shape who I am.  It's a good day.

                                                    Oh...How times have changed...

How You Like Them Apples?

Ben Affleck is a career and franchise killer.

I'm not a fan at all.  It's not just because he's a Boston guy (I'm sure that might be how he first got on my douche radar), but more from watching how he has killed franchise films, characters and ruined the careers of everyone he has been close too.

I would like to start out my noting that fellow Bostonian and co-academy award winner and former best friend, Matt Damon (I am a huge fan, regardless of the love for the Red Sox) ran for the hills.  I would guess he has some sort of Spider sense that was beyond tingling... Another reason that I love Matt Damon.

Back to Affleck... The first time I saw him was in 1993's (and personal top 10 favorite film of all time) Dazed And Confused.  He played the douche character "O'Bannion".  A bully dickhead who gets his from the kids he gets off torturing.  I didn't think much of him, other than he was a dick.  Interesting, that the 1st impression I got of him stuck with me all these years.  But, he was playing a character, my dislike for Affleck came more from his uncanny ability to ruin a lot of things I really like.

After Dazed and Confused, the next time I saw him was in Kevin Smith's sophomore film Mallrats. As a huge fan of Clerks, I had beyond high hopes for this film.  Kevin Smith was my favorite up and coming guy.  He liked comics and movies... He put good music in his movies (I credit my buddy Benjie for that, since he was the music supervisor on that film when we worked together).  But a good comic guy and film guy shows how smart he is by who he chooses to advise him on music....

Mallrats was pretty bad.  Not horrible, but not great.  The curse of Affleck began.  Kevin Smith, unlike Matt Damon, did not possess the Spider Sense.  You would think a comic freak, who believes in the Force would see or trust his instinct.  My Guess is Affleck was too far in his head.  Then along came Chasing Amy.  Again, not a horrible film, but was not going in the right direction for career building as Clerks had set up Kevin Smith.  This would be where I would have hoped Kevin Smith would cut Affleck from his downward spiral... No.  His work wasn't done yet.

Then along came Good Will Hunting.  A brilliant film that was (allegedly) co-written by Affleck.  But, from watching that film, I have always been suspect that Affleck jumped on the Damon coattails and rode the wave.  An academy award later, he had credibility.  But, I'm positive that Spider Sense was tingling in Damon's head.  Matt went his own way and got involved with films like Saving Private Ryan, Rounders, The Talented Mr. Ripley...later to get involved with franchise films like Oceans Eleven, The Jason Bourne series and Martin Scorsese... Sans Affleck.  He ran for the hills.  Smartest career move ever.

Affleck looked like he was going to make it back.  Get off that bad streak.  He went into Armageddon.  Huge hit (he did kill Bruce Willis though).  It was looking better!

He got to star with Sandra Bullock in Forces of Nature... That force made old Sandy run to never make another film with him again.  Spider Sense.  Bravo Sandy...Just wish it worked for your with Jesse James...we can't win them all.  But you saved your film career.

Then, old Kevin Smith broght him back for 2 more movies that were the precursors to hitting rock bottom, again courtesy of Affleck.  I'm getting ahead of myself.  Affleck and Smith convinced (I think I would call it guilt) Damon to appear in a small roll in two more failures, Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

He also was responsible for blowing up Pearl Harbor again with his horrible acting in a horrible film.

Somewhere in this time period, he met and started dating Jennifer Lopez.  Lopez, coming from nothing but hard work to get up in the business was at her highest point at this point.  Starring in her breakthrough role of Selena, acting with George Clooney in the fantastic film Out of Sight and having number one hit songs and tours as a singer.  J-Lo was on fire.  Then came Affleck.

The two of them started dating, he appeared in her videos and the two of them starred in the (before mentioned Rock Bottom) fall of Kevin Smith's Jersey Girl.  As the final nail in coffin of  Jennifer's rising film career came Gigli.  Sure, both Smith and Lopez would recover (kind of), but it wasn't until they got rid of Affleck.

The same year, Affleck took the time to really ruin one of my favorite comic book characters and kill the film franchise before it even had a chance to become one.  In the same film he met his future wife Jennifer Garner, who was fresh of the brilliant JJ Abrams TV series Alias.  She had nothing but success in her future.  She could be an action star, America's sweetheart.  Sky was the limit.  Then came Affleck.  The two of them starred in the horrible Daredevil.  She played Elektra (why, I have no idea).  Not only was the film a flop, but so was any future Daredevil movies.  Frank Miller wrote a series that could have been a film franchise.  Garner went on to do a horrible spin off of Elektra (another bomb) and so was the rest of her film career.  The two had kids, she's pretty much over with A list status and He is still out there getting more chances.

I can go on, but it makes me sound insane.

So below are some other examples of his career/franchise killing: 
 
The Sum of All Fears - He played Jack Ryan. A character Harrison Ford had made a franchise (fucker)
Clerks 2- Really Kevin? I feel like I need to stage an intervention

Things I will give him credit for, because I try and find a positive in everything:

Hollywoodland - Very good performance of George Reeves (Irony.  Reeves killed himself/was killed after killing the Superman franchise)
Gone Baby Gone - Didn't see it.  heard it was good
The Town - Heard it was good, didn't care, because it's Affleck and Boston.

I looked him up on IMDB and it looks like he will be spending more time directing and writing than acting.  I fear for the poor up and coming actor that may get caught in his web of career death.  I also saw Matt Damon may be in an untitled production as well.  I'm guessing the every ten years guilt  film.

I hope you have that Spider Sense, Matt.  I'm a huge fan.

And then it just becomes an industry of... cool.

I was doing my normal surfing the web stuff checking out new bands and seeing if anything would blow my mind.  I have been lead down the bad path my entire career.  People that know me, know that there are buzz words that get me excited.  When I read reviews, and I see some of those words, I'm quick to jump and give it a shot.

Back, pre MP3's or even as that whole world was just starting up, a lot of indie bands and unknowns were not easy to find, so that's when I would go to the local record store and find it or even ask them to order it for me.  I can't tell you how many times I threw Cd's out my window so bummed that I got sold a bill of bullshit.  There are some writers that I actually like.  Cameron Crowe, Robert Christgau, Jon Parales, Toure...I was too young to have been around for Lester Bangs, but I'm sure I would have loved him.  I'm also sure he would have annoyed me too.  But writers like these examples always write (or wrote) from a standpoint of merit, not what's cool.  I don't want to listen to music because you are supposed to, I want to listen because it matters and is good.

The one that stands out to me this day (and I still think are bullshit) was The Gossip.  I read some review in maximum rock and roll or some magazine like that, that said they were a modern take on the garage band of whatever.  I wish I remembered who wrote that review, so I could kick him in the ass.  Years later, I would see NME and Perez Hilton, praising Beth Ditto as some rock goddess... I stared to question NME from that day on... Perez Hilton, well, he's the last person I'm going to follow when it comes to music recommendations.

The London Souls

Anyway... I was looking and came across a band from NY, I had never heard of called The London Souls.  The place I got the tip from didn't compare them, but mentioned bands like Cream, Led Zeppelin as similar artists.  This was exciting.  With the wonders of the Internet, I was able to find their album on Spotify. 

It was easy and didn't cost me a dime, but I must say, It took away a lot of the discovery process I used to love. 

Back to the band.  I listened with such high hopes and was once again disappointed.  I didn't dislike it, I think I was just hoping for so much more.  The vibes were all there, I liked where they were going, but it always comes down to the song.  They unfortunately had none. I was actually hoping this post would be a praise of the band, but it became more of a thought about how no matter what the medium (press or blogs), I have to learn once and for all, not to listen to reviews. 

I'm sure a lot of people hate my opinions and recommendations, so perhaps someone has the same rant based on something I suggested. 

Fast forward to the following day.  Again, I have never heard of The London Souls in my life.  All of the sudden, I'm reading another post somewhere and there is a post about the band.  Unfortunately, It wasn't about new songs or a tour, but the singer Tash Neal was in intensive care after a hit and run incident in NYC. 

I have a lot of hopes for the band, I just don't think they are there yet.

I hope everything turns out OK for Tash and he has a speedy recovery to get back to it!  I'm pulling for you my man.

 

Fuck art. Let's dance

Being a stay at home dad, you find yourself to be really busy doing chores, housework, running errands and being a chauffeur. 

I mentioned earlier that the saving grace are headphones. 

I spend a lot of time listening to music.  I try to check out new bands, but I swear, a lot of them suck.  There are some standouts, but the majority suck.  I feel like labels and bands have gone to do things like Facebook.  If you don't refresh fast enough, you are forgotten or you move on to the next "big" thing.

That's why I find myself back to the classics or albums I grew up on and making playlists of those songs.

I always loved the labels that created a scene.  Labels that when they put things out, you bought it because there was a trust between you and the label.  There are some that still try that, but I don't trust them as I would others.  Third Man (in theory) would be a modern version of that kind of label, but I feel like I just don't care about a lot of the releases and that it's more about Jack White and what he does than the artists.

When I look back, I think of labels like 2 Tone, Def Jam, Sire, IRS, Sub Pop , Creation even Fat Wreck Chords and Epitaph and Hellcat for a while... These labels were such a trusted brand, fans were proud to wear T Shirts , Jackets and buttons of the LABEL.  The label was as big a star as the artists on it.  I love that.

I recently saw a documentary about one of my favorites Stiff Records.  They were so great for the diversity in what they released.  It didn't have to sound like everything else, sometimes it sucked, but I trusted them.  I saw they tried to recently revive it and it was retarded.

I see a lot of these names getting revived and hope to see them make it work.  It would be nice to go to places for substance and build that trust again.

If I ever get a chance to do something again, it would be to create and build that kind of label.

Here's the Stiff Documentary in pieces...