Ring, ring...Pick It Up

This Friday, April 26th, a music documentary called Pick It Up: Ska of the 90's will premier at the Newport Beach Film Festival. Just a day before the 2nd Back To The Beach Festival in Huntington Beach.

This film started being made over a year ago, i caught wind about it from seeing the Kickstarter promo that they made to raise money for. It was totally a story that i identified with both musically and professionally. I remember doing an initial reach out to see if I could be of any assistance. From there, I met Taylor Morden, who is both a producer and director of the film. One of the most focused and creative people I have met in a long time (he's already finishing up another documentary about the Last Blockbuster). Anyway, Taylor hit me up about my offer, and asked if I could help in the world of clearing music for the film. Being that I have worked in publishing, know the world and know people (many of the bands, managers involved), i figured, yes...i can do that for you.

The film and my task looked as something that I could tackle with a little more ease because of the amount of cooperation and excitement to participate they had already filmed. Pretty much every single band was represented in the film with on camera interviews. Some major guys were missing, like Dicky from The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, but you had Tom Dumont from No Doubt, Tim Armstrong from Rancid/Operation Ivy, John Feldmann from Goldfinger, Aaron Barrett from Reel Bg Fish, Chris DeMakes from Less Than Jake, Karina Denike from Dance Hall Crashers, Alex Desert and Greg Lee from Hepcat...I think you see what i mean.

So with this kind of participation, i felt I would have a better chance at getting to the people in charge of licensing on both master and publishing sides by having the bands wanting their music in the film.

Full disclosure. I sucked. Not one song. Not one good experience with publishers and/or labels. Not the indies, they were great. The majors.

This experience was something that i felt deserved a long rant. So here it is.

I have worked in the music industry for over 2 decades. I have worked as publisher, a music supervisor, and a&r person at major labels, a manager, a licensor, basically every single area. Not in the "i kinda know that", but in the i did all that and know it all very well from experience. I can read a deal, i can comment on one, i can negotiate. The majority of my past decade has been working with what people would consider "legacy" acts. When i was growing up, Journey was a legacy act. Today, it's a band that can still tour, still find an audience and still matter, but are less than 10 years old (as a band). What makes them "legacy" is that they had a deal and then they didn't. They had a budget and major label partnership and then they didn't. But, mot of them never stopped playing or recording new material.

Pretty much what this entire documentary is about.

Let me start by doing a brief look back on this scene (like I said, what the film details). It's a short lived revival, the "3rd wave" of ska. The wave was there as far back as the 80's, but it wasn't until the 90's that there was a brief window opening of entering the pop culture and financial gain to the bands and those invested in them. As mentioned in the film, it didn't last long, in commercial success, but it had a commercial moment.

It's never gonna work out
Quite the way that they plan
Their little greasy games
They'll drop you just as son as they can pick you up
It might be fun for a while
What happenes tomorrow?
I don't want to be no queen for a day

As the music business goes, when one pops, the immediate order is "get me one of those"... The ska moment was mostly seen in the success of Rancid, Mighty Might Bosstones, Sublime and No Doubt. MTV was playing them, alternative radio was playing it, TV shows and movies were syncing them. There was money to be had. If that never happened commercially, these bands would still be out there doing it, just not at that level. So with success comes money. None of those bands were signed for lots of money. i'm pretty sure the deals were shit. But, they were signed. Not because the bands weren't awesome, but because who in the world thought a ska band would become commercially successful?

Publishers saw the opportunity and came for the bands as well. This. The publishing deals based on the success of the bands, was the one place where bands were able to see some sort of financial potential, because those record deals were shit. So many of the bands signed deals with major publishing companies and made some good investment money. Can't hate on that. Publishers, like labels thought they had a really good shot at making some great money (some did), but like anything there is no guarantee. But the a&r people both at labels and publishing companies totally believed in these signings and worked their asses off for these bands (I know because I was one of them and knew pretty much all the other ones doing it).

That was 20 years ago. Around 2000, you could pretty much call it a day. No Doubt were a pop band with influences from reggae and ska and every other band was pretty much dropped to make room for the next thing. Nothing is forever. Well nothing except master ownership and an unrecouped balance.

The bands either broke up and the rest of the bands kept going. Some signing to smaller labels, some going DIY, some starting their own labels. But moving forward, the recordings and the songs they wrote that made them popular, they lost control over the use of those songs. and as time moved on, most of the a&r and marketing people that were the bands biggest champions moved on. So like any relations hip, over time, the people that once lived in the building you grew up in, moved out and new people moved in with no memory of your ever living there.

Also, remember, when a band is dropped. The label usually sells off the inventory of what they have left, so there is no additional promotion or product being released, which means that recoupment of monies owed is pretty much guaranteed not to ever happen. So, even if you have a 7 year reversion of your songs set in a publishing deal, if you are dropped and promotion is over and physical product is terminated, good luck in recouoping in what you owe in order to get that reversion happening.

That's where my experience working on this film comes in.

There was a film that came out last year that I loved called Turn It Around: The Story of East Bay Punk. It was an indie film about the East Bay Punk Rock scene and the bands and artists that came out of it. It was actually produced by Billie Joe Armstrong and Tim Armstrong who are both pioneers and legends from that scene and still tot his day acknowledge it. This film for both myself and Taylor was a blueprint for music clearance. That film, much like this one, was not strong in the budget, but also included interviews and footage of bands and without their songs, would be hard to truly be appreciated historically in context. Every single band on camera interviewed contributed their music to make this film work. The one thing though about these songs and bands was that very few were signed to major labels or major publishing companies, so they had a better shot at clearing the songs as sole owners of the masters and publishing. But there were some that needed clearing and the bands cleared them by calling the labels themselves. Which basically means, they are still signed and know someone there to help them out.

I pulled all the requested songs and publishing information for songs like "Sell Out", "All My Best Friends Are Metalheads", "Date Rape", etc and made calls to the licensing departments. Funny enough, most were Universal. Mergers man. So when I got in touch with whomever I spoke to, (i'm pretty sure this was the 1st time anyone requested these songs in a while), they had to look up the song and see what it was. That was my first red flag. Nothing against the licensing department at all, the red flag being that the band and song in question was a "catalog" number and I knew right there the quote was going to be a standard rate from a sheet. It was. A song like "Date Rape" was easily going to be $40,000 just for the publishing, which would mean the master would match that. $80K for about 20 seconds of use of a song (for historical context) in a documentary who's total budget was $64k. Fortunately, there were so many other bands in the film that were 100% indie, owned their publishing and master and gave permission to the film to use gratis. As an added bonus, one of the other producers, Rei Mastrogiovanni, was not only editing the film, but is also a musician who was able to create original music to fill the spots that we couldn't get the actual songs for. But, it still wasn't the same as the originals in context of historical nature.

I think you see where i'm going with this.

Back in the old days, when there was an a&r or marketing rep that actively worked with these bands was around, I could easily call that person, tell them what I'm working on, see if there was a way to work with them or any alternate solutions and we could work something out. But we are talking 20 years later. New team, new players.

I spoke to some of the bands and some of the bands representation to see if they could help from their side. The influence of an artist and/or manager, still carries weight. Only to find out that these managers and artists pretty much have relationships with the people in accounting. So those outreaches (for the most part) were dead ends. I pretty much figured we have zero leverage. A lot of times, anytime you are looking for something, you need a name drop to try and get the ball rolling. You ask someone for something , they usually ask, who else is doing it...

I got a call from Taylor after feeling defeated saying that Tim Armstrong not only offered to narrate the film, but he also said we could use both Time Bomb by Rancid and Sound System from Operation Ivy gratis in the film as long as this gratis use would by Most Favored Nations with any other band in the film. Now I felt like I had my carrot on the stick to get people to see that there was credibility in this subject matter.

At this point, I called people I have known for years and came up with. They are now presidents and CEO's of companies, but are still amazing people in my world. People I can always count on when I go to them. So i did just that. Went to the top, made my pitch, asked for help and was granted assistance. Fast assistance actually. I thought i had a shot. it was looking good. spoke to one person, then spoke to another person, then got sent to the licensing person....who was the same person i spoke to in my previously. I swear to god, if you ever saw Spinal Tap, there is a scene where they are backstage in Cleveland and the backstage is so big, they get lost getting to the stage. They run into a custodian who directs them how to get to stage, they take off, stoked, and end up back with the custodian.

This was me trying to get a license by using my contacts. While appreciated and so generous for the assistance, the result took me right back to where i started.

I even reached out to the head of a company that only got there because of this ska scene. The band I hit him about was a band he used to go on the road with when they ere playing small venues. Serious salad days stuff. Reached out specifically for help to use 15 seconds of an instrumental for historical purpose in the interview. He replied pretty fast, sent me to one person, who sent me to another person and guess where i ended up again? yep. Cleveland.

Taylor and I spoke after this horrible experience and he and Rei came up with a way to make it work based on what they could use under Fair Use laws and the tracks provided by the bands who owned their own material and the original music Rei composed. It actually came out great and works amazingly well, because the story is what these artists discuss and not just the songs.

But, what this did do for me was make me realize how broken the system is. I can honestly say, i'm on the fence 100% about sync and master uses in film, TV, videogames, etc. this is honestly a place where artists should see some income or work towards recouping whatever gross amount of money they owe from a deal they did 20 years ago. Some are recouped because of the efforts of the labels and publishers where they were signed. No Doubt and Mighty Mighty Bosstones did amazingly well.

But there are a bunch of these bands that are still doing it and working just as hard to make a living. A placement in a film like this for a band could only help their viability, touring numbers, anything, but when you become a catalog and a ISRC code and have no say in what happens with your recordings or songs, there is a problem.

There should be a scale based on usage that is looked at. As a manager of a band that owns their own publishing and some masters, when Lipton Tea hit me up about a license, i was not going to go small. I know they have a budget. The song was going to be background. It wasn't going tot do anything for our legacy or sell records. It was purely a fuck you, pay me moment and it was. We appreciated it and love Lipton for it. It wasn't a negotiation, they offered, we worked with the offer, band made money. Thank you, come again. But there is also an upcoming documentary that will use the bands music. It IS historical. It WILL help our legacy and WILL get new fans while being nostalgic for the old ones. This film won't have any money like Lipton. There is no question, they will have full permission to use it. If the band was signed to a major with their publishing, knowing this film was being made, I would go right into whomever i needed to and would fight for the permission to use it.

In the case of a film of this size, obviously the budget isn't the same as a major film, tv show or commercial. I am 100% sympathetic to the question and statement that if you have a budget for film and editing, you should have a budget for music. We did. It was a little more than 1/3 of the budget. Taylor filmed, directed the majority of it, Rei edited and composed music. They hired animators, colorists, etc... yes costs. But as I said, the music budget was there, it just wasn't huge, but you hope that bands have influence on the master owners to work with them at their request. I think there is a place for negotiation and observance of the situation. These labels and publishers have forgotten about these acts and these songs. These artists are still doing it for the most part. Finding a new audience while engaging the nostalgia only helps these bands in their touring, merchandise, etc. It sure doesn't help on their sales or royalties, because they aren't getting equal shares on streaming. The majors are and will make any revenue from this film if there is any uptick in streaming. So, I'm absolutely simpatico to the "but this editor got paid or the animator did"...I agree, but we had money budgeted. The music in and artists in this film are main characters and locations, not background uses. A film sync is typically a background use with very little career advancing potential. A documentary about these bands and artists, featuring these artists is.

I get that these bands are catalog and pretty much nobody knows them at the companies, so why be a dick and not allow the usage. Most likely, the 1st request for use in 20 years or ever. The companies don't want to deal with these little things, because they don't matter. But thats where the problem is... they don't matter because they don't make a dent in the bottom line. But they are a huge deal to the artists behind them.

I totally understand that nothing is free. Everything costs something, but in this particular situation, it was a one sheet request, with MFN terms, the negotiation was yes or no. If the companies needed us to pay administration costs to countersign to fully execute and scan the agreement, we were willing to pay $500.00 for the admin costs. Warner Chappell made a killing for that with "Happy Birthday" for decades. and to be fair, some of these companies offered festival licenses and step deals, but i had explained that we were working off of the agreement with Rancid for (what arguably could be one of the biggest commercial records of that genre) for "Time Bomb" that was for all media moving forward. With a full budget of $25,000 the fee alone for festivals would allow 5 songs for both sides (master/publishing). So better to keep the song that was recognizable than 15 seconds of an instrumental that wouldn't be outside of context.

This whole thing made me really sad for artists locked in deals and made it clearer to me that ownership is everything. I know, that's pretty obvious, but its also something that we forget in the moment. All these bands were in the moment not knowing of the ramifications of the deals they were entering. we all know with signing a deal, there is 99% chance of failure, but musicians are the optimists we all look to for happiness in our lives. they are the creators. Just sucks when your creation is no longer yours after you sign on the X.

So, what's the answer? For future artists, technology and DIY is at your fingertips. You can own your stuff until you don't want to. Success can be what you make it. I think you all have a shot.

For old timers, locked into shitty time shares? Look to the law. Look for the loop holes. The copyright act of 1976 had a bunch of stuff in it that people forgot about*. A lot of it because it didn't matter, because the situations weren't going to take place for 35 years from the time the laws were written.

Record Company's gonna give me lots of money
And everything's gonna be all right


Back to the movie. I think films like this are great. When I was 12, I saw the film Dance Craze at the St. Marks Theatre. It was a midnight screening. Same place i saw movies like DOA and Quadrophenia. We used to actually wait until midnight to see a movie. It was an event. Like a concert. But, these movies helped shape all the kids from all the schools in NY. When Dance Craze played, people were literally dancing in their seats. I'm pretty positive at least 5 bands started after that too. Midnight movies were only one night, so being there impacted you. The next day, you went out to buy albums by the bands, t shirts, go to the concerts when they came around, and started your own bands.

The hopes with this movie is that it will do the same thing. Wouldn't that be great? The film will hopefully get picked up by one of the streaming channels for more people to find it. We've come a long way from midnight movies and VHS bootleg tapes, which is great for these bands that were forgotten by their labels, but not their fans.

We are hopping to get a limited edition vinyl out to go with this to Kickstarter donors and maybe sell a few from the movie site. I'm hoping to do a nod to Dance Craze and make it a live LP. Not only does that pay homage, but it's also the only way to use the songs that the labels want to charge an arm and a leg for, which none of the money goes back to the bands... so keep an eye out for that. Otherwise, follow Pick It Up on their socials and they will be posting a killer soundtrack playlist.

*Look into Reclaim. It was written in there that after 35 years of a release, the artist who signed that deal in perpetuity, could reclaim the rights to their masters within a 5 year window. It's an interesting issue that nobody is really too clear on, but it's there. Music business lawyers and business affairs are staying away from it, because you open that tube of toothpaste and you can't put it back in. Reclaim of masters means you get it back. you can put it on Spotify and earn all that master money that majors are getting rich on, while paying you out on your 10%-14% deal you signed back when terms were based on packaging and distribution deductions. No packaging or distribution like the old days with digital. I'm going to leave this here, because that's a whole other conversation....

Holler If You Hear Me

It’s been a while since I have “blogged”. I don’t know why. I actually really enjoy writing and (I guess) getting thoughts out of my head. It can be dangerous to keep thoughts in your head. Plus, thoughts can park themselves in prime real estate of your brain. So, I was getting in the habit of getting those thoughts out to clear up said real estate for new ones. It’s been a while, so the real estate is losing value. Time to clean up the neighborhood.

The main thing that has been squatting in my brain has been a hard subject to talk about. Mostly, because it’s easy to sound (my least favorite term) “bitter”. But, what How I see it, it’s never been a “bitter” feeling, just a confused, disappointed and depressing question and subject.

That question is “what happened?”. What happened to me in the last 10 years? Where did the career I had worked so hard for go and how did it go away so quickly. This subject was one that over the years through reading social media posts and speaking with friends, former colleagues and just general observance I saw that this isn’t a subject and question that I alone ponder.

I also saw that it wasn’t a “music business” issue. It’s an everything one. I know that business evolves, everything does, but when I was younger, it didn’t happen this fast. Maybe it’s the new world standard. Everything is just happening prematurely. When I started in the music business, I could look at my mentors and they were the age I am now, with many years left in their long careers. Somewhere along the line, that life expectancy was cut in half. Something i wish I knew would happen before i started. I would have looked into another profession.

But it’s not just me. It’s many people. People in the world where the 401k automatically was getting fed with every paycheck stopped getting fed a decade ago. The world where insurance has become a game of hoping nothing too bad happens while putting it on hold until you have enough money to sign up again for a plan that covers more than one check up a year. A world where you are actually better off dead than alive for your kids, because the one smart thing you did was invest and make sure to pay your life insurance policy.

So back to the question of “what happened?”....

Well, everything did. For me, it was the music business began to shrink. As a creative person, you are only as good as your last hit and I always ran a marathon. I worked with artists for the long haul. But as the business started changing, the marathon winner was a dreamer. It became a sprint game. A very crowded sprint game.

So, luckily I adjusted. Before the Napster years, I was (rather painfully) removed from a job that I had done well in. Why, doesn’t matter. But, at that time, I moved coasts and wanted to dip my feet into a new pool and learn something new that I had zero understanding on. The idea was to expand my knowledge to make me a better rounded person and not one dimensional. I learned under one of the best and was grateful for that 2 year crash course. After that tenure, I was spent and needed a break. Took a sabbatical (also known as not being able to find a job) and just got back to remembering why I got into it in the first place. I listened to music and went to shows again not because I “had to”, but because I wanted to. Because of that forced head clearing and time away from the grind of it, I was able to actually enjoy it again and found myself stumbling upon many new bands, writers, scenes, etc. It was magical.

From that, I voluntarily began helping these artist meet people in the business that I still knew. I had been fortunate to where I can at least still get a call answered and a song listened to based on my reputation and relationships. Don’t know about that these days though. More in that later. Anyway, bands got signed (and did quite well), managers got new clients (and did really well) and from that, I actually got a 2nd life at a label and publishing company. I thought i was out... and they pulled me back in. This was not a curse at all, but a blessing.

I had another amazing run at my new company for 5 years. See when I took a job anywhere, i was retiring there if it was up to me. Didn’t take a job to get a job. You hired me, you got me for life. Loyal as fuck.

Also during that time(Well before you could have 10 jobs at once), being at a label meant you couldn’t do outside jobs or work outside of your contract as it was seen as a conflict of interest. Understandably so. Today, you can work as a VP for a parent label, have a label, own a publishing company and manage producers and songwriters where you sign an artist to your label that is paid for by the parent label, but the artists needs to work with your songwriters that you publish and are produced by the producers and engineers you manage. Sounds fair. But I digress...

Anyway, even though i worked for the label and publishing company, I had many developing interests in artists and ideas that weren’t ready for prime time. So, through a friends developing company, I made an arrangement that would allow me to bring in said not ready for prime time players and ghost manage them. What that meant was for every act i would bring in, I would be the silent manager and one of the people at the management company, would co-manage and be the “face”. Which was great for me. I could be involved, if there was any money to be made, i could invest it back into the management company (because i had a salary and wasn’t looking to double dip), but by investing back, I was setting up my next career should my job ever go away, while helping manage the careers of these up and comers. I never take credit, but that has been a huge mistake for me, because by being humble and letting the light shine onto others, I have gotten erased from history. If it wasn’t for other people being around at that time and seeing it first hand, and me saving all the emails and instant messages, I would actually be a ghost and/or a liar.

See, this is where you may be rolling your eyes and calling me bitter. I know... it sounds like me bitching and crying. So, why does this matter?

Well, because this was around the time when “what happened?” starts.

It starts here because this is when label mergers went into full gear. I would say around 2005. The company I was at was NY based and I was in the West Coast office (staff of 27). As the mergers started within a 2 year period, the staff went from 27, to 22, to 17 to 13 (when i was made redundant) to 9 to 7 to a logo.

When my tenure ended, I would have thought that I had a place to go, since I had invested and been a pretty important part of a roster that changed them from being a rap metal management roster (with some up and coming writers who weren’t quite there yet, but got there and boy did they... FYI... absolutely ZERO to do with me). I only claim the bands and direction as something I had to do with. But, in the last year before my redundancy, there was an “issue” that happened at the company. And from my stand point, where there might have been good cause or reason, I didn’t agree with the manner it was handled. Of course, with my stupid punk rock ethics, had to state my thoughts. Anyone that knows me (and these people were family to me) I need to speak my mind for when something doesn’t feel right ethically. In this case the handling of the situation and the financial resolution were both handled very poor and quite honestly, hurtful to witness. The company was built on being the “good guys” and the exit and restitution was not what a “good guy” would do and I said it. Only thing was, you don’t say those types of things to the most liked person in the world. But, like i said, this person was like family to me and I’m open and honest with family, just to hope they see things from another side that’s not coming from anything other than honesty. Bad move.

Long story short, there was no home for me to go to. Persona non grata. It actually took almost 5 years to start repairing that one. I think it’s pretty good now. Very sad it will never be what it was. It’s hard to find friends out here that you feel are true. But, that’s life. The company flourished and continues. I’ve heard my “involvements” pop up here and there, but they are very watered down, so I’ve almost been written out completely, but I still have a gravestone somewhere that gets some sun every once in a while.

I have never seen much of a hand raised to look out for me. Is that because my former partner knows about my pride? Who knows, but it does contribute to “what happened?”.

On the other side, the friend I stood up for, he has reinvented himself and done great on his own. But again, I professionally haven’t seen anything float my way. He's one of the most righteous and genuinely nice people I know. His friendship all these years is reward enough for me.

Now it sounds like I’m bitter again. I know. But it’s not bitter. I think in this world where survival has become harder. We all know it’s who you know. So, in this case, I know some heavy motherfuckers. So “what happened?” that knowing the biggest people out there, I’m out here wondering how to get a new client or how to reach someone i used to know on behalf of my current clients, because I “seem” to know a lot of people and “seem” to have a pretty great reputation.

I do pride myself on being someone who can make it on his own. Over time, I realized that is more of my way with dealing with people not being as open about assisting me. I have zero problem helping people. It’s actually rewarding for me to see someone succeed from any contribution I made. I’m not saying I’m better than others, but much like my realization of how to deal with feelings alone out here, my helping others rewards me and gives me hopes that somehow through karma, it’ll come back to me. Spoiler alert... it doesn’t. But if it makes you (me) feel better, that should be reward enough.

I have always said, if karma points were air miles, I could fly around the world 1st class at least 3 times. But, they aren’t. Coach it is.

So being the “make it on your own” person I have become. Since the “what happened” period started, I have looked of ways to reinvent myself. Learn something new. Be well rounded. Be a person that can do everything really well. Not kinda ok. I mean like do any task. I learned a lot by trial and error. Never scared to try something and if I wasn't able to do it, i would teach myself. That has kept me going for a long time. So in these years of figuring it out day by day, every once in a while an opportunity would come up that I would look at (now this is where many of you reading this can really relate). These opportunities (another way of saying “jobs”) would come via word or mouth, recommendation or job posting (the worst). I’m not one who looks at a job and says “eh, I can kinda do that...”, I have to look at it and say “fuck this... I can do ALL of that”. So whether it’s word or moth, recommendation or job posting, I’m gonna give it a shot. I would say I get a call 2/10 times. Job posting is all key words and apparently, if your resume has all the job qualifications they list (word for word) none of those are the actual key words to get you looked at, so you get the automated “thanks but you don’t meet the qualifications we are looking for”, even though your resume has ALL of the qualifications they listed. When it comes to word of mouth or recommendation, by the time you get in contact, 9/10 times they already have someone (in house hire), so they might schedule you an interview out of courtesy or just have an assistant “reschedule” you until they just stop rescheduling.

I have two potential “opportunities” that stood out to me. They were both jobs i was very qualified for. One I didn’t even know was a potential “opportunity” until it was brought to my attention. This one was something that would have been called a “dream job”. I went to see an old friend with an idea. Some say I’m a dreamer. I had this idea for a way to exploit a catalog in a really creative way that would both make fans happy and be a way for a new audience to discover this band. Though this idea, there could be a new “soundtrack” vs repackaging the same shit over and over. A win for the label, a win for the publishers, a win for merchandise and a huge win for the legacy. Let’s call the band... I don’t know... ok... the Ramones. If anyone knows me, I kinda like the band. So I called an old friend who was so sweet and willing to meet with me. He did not need to at all. He’s very busy and I just appreciated the courtesy. Real stand up move. Went in, told my idea, somehow the conversation steered to him wanting to expand and had been thinking about adding someone. He knew my background and while it had some of the skills, there was a lot to learn. So, I was beyond excited and have zero issues learning from the bottom up. I’m a fast learner and put me in a new environment and I’m there to soak up as much as I can. I am a great utility player. Don’t ever want to be captain, just want to be on the team and hope to help the team win. Fast forward, he has me meet with his current team as i would be working under them and learning the ropes. Again, no ego here. Just excited about the opportunity.

Meet for lunch with the two guys and I start off by saying how much I love The Ramones and how they are one of my favorite bands, to where the reply was “yeah... they are everyone’s favorite band”. I knew at that moment this was going to be a long/short lunch. The whole time there, i was just trying to break the wall and just let them get to know me. It wasn’t gonna happen. With every description of how shitty the tasks would be, i would reply with great enthusiasm. It was legitimate. After about 40 minutes, the main guy asks for the check and stands up and says “ok thanks. We’ll get back to you after the holiday”. Thanksgiving was coming up. So, he starts to walk away towards the parking lot. Exactly where i was going. That exit was not too smooth. We then get down the stairs and he abruptly says goodbye again... only to start walking in the same direction as me. It appeared we were parked next to each other. One last goodbye and finally he is rid of me. I sent a follow up email to them thanking them for their time, and email their boss saying how much I enjoyed them.

A week after Thanksgiving, I have not heard from them. So, I email with a joke saying “well, we never specified after which holiday i would hear from you, so I hope to hear from you by MLK day”. I guess that didn’t go over well. I never got a reply. The Ramones have released some great repackages of albums I have bought 3 times already.

The other job, falls into the category of word of mouth/recommendation. It was a job at a company that I have actually been praising in their business model for the 21st century. I was told of this position by a friend who actually interviewed for it, but couldn’t relocate, so suggested me (one of my best friends to this day with as many stories, if not more, than me). I went into this meeting at very high recommendation by very high level people, so at least i would be considered as a potential candidate. This job I actually fit every single qualification.

The day of the meeting, i went in, was actually there for over an hour, and answered and knew every single thing they asked and had answers to every question asked. Thai was my world. No on the job training needed. All was going well when the hiring manager (in the middle of me speaking) just stands up and says “ok. Thanks for your time. I have to go”. He walked out the door while shaking my hand and I just stood there like a person staring at the gate as the plane pulls away. I left, emailed both of the people I met with. Thanked them for their time and appreciated them taking so much time out of their day. Never heard from either again.

I found out a week later from my friend who suggested me that he had gotten an email from the main person saying they had hired someone already. The date of that email was the same day I went in to interview. I wish I could have that hour of my life back.

I have spent a lot of time just shrugging my shoulders and saying “oh well”, but oh well has become “what happened?”.... what did I do to put myself in this situation? I would get it if I was an asshole to people, kicked puppies or screwed people over, but I wasn’t, I don’t and I haven’t.

I’m not bitter, just confused. Wondering what will be next, how can I fix it, can I fix it, where will I be next year?

I’m thankful for my kids. They have nothing but hope in their eyes and their futures. That’s what makes me keep on keeping on. I love what I do. I'm fortunate that I am able to still work doing what I have done for 25 years, I still have no ego about who I am or what I do. I can meet with big wigs, i can throw out the garbage. Who gives a shit. I teach young, talented students at a university and I still work with artists that can sell out venues and sell directly to fans through social media only, i have gotten to develop young artists purely DIY and have been able to get them going, slowly growing a career. The marathon mentality. So, no complaints professionally. I just wish it was more stable.

I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this. So what happened? I still don't know, but you aren't alone. Stay positive.

Holler if you hear me.