How You Like Them Apples?

Ben Affleck is a career and franchise killer.

I'm not a fan at all.  It's not just because he's a Boston guy (I'm sure that might be how he first got on my douche radar), but more from watching how he has killed franchise films, characters and ruined the careers of everyone he has been close too.

I would like to start out my noting that fellow Bostonian and co-academy award winner and former best friend, Matt Damon (I am a huge fan, regardless of the love for the Red Sox) ran for the hills.  I would guess he has some sort of Spider sense that was beyond tingling... Another reason that I love Matt Damon.

Back to Affleck... The first time I saw him was in 1993's (and personal top 10 favorite film of all time) Dazed And Confused.  He played the douche character "O'Bannion".  A bully dickhead who gets his from the kids he gets off torturing.  I didn't think much of him, other than he was a dick.  Interesting, that the 1st impression I got of him stuck with me all these years.  But, he was playing a character, my dislike for Affleck came more from his uncanny ability to ruin a lot of things I really like.

After Dazed and Confused, the next time I saw him was in Kevin Smith's sophomore film Mallrats. As a huge fan of Clerks, I had beyond high hopes for this film.  Kevin Smith was my favorite up and coming guy.  He liked comics and movies... He put good music in his movies (I credit my buddy Benjie for that, since he was the music supervisor on that film when we worked together).  But a good comic guy and film guy shows how smart he is by who he chooses to advise him on music....

Mallrats was pretty bad.  Not horrible, but not great.  The curse of Affleck began.  Kevin Smith, unlike Matt Damon, did not possess the Spider Sense.  You would think a comic freak, who believes in the Force would see or trust his instinct.  My Guess is Affleck was too far in his head.  Then along came Chasing Amy.  Again, not a horrible film, but was not going in the right direction for career building as Clerks had set up Kevin Smith.  This would be where I would have hoped Kevin Smith would cut Affleck from his downward spiral... No.  His work wasn't done yet.

Then along came Good Will Hunting.  A brilliant film that was (allegedly) co-written by Affleck.  But, from watching that film, I have always been suspect that Affleck jumped on the Damon coattails and rode the wave.  An academy award later, he had credibility.  But, I'm positive that Spider Sense was tingling in Damon's head.  Matt went his own way and got involved with films like Saving Private Ryan, Rounders, The Talented Mr. Ripley...later to get involved with franchise films like Oceans Eleven, The Jason Bourne series and Martin Scorsese... Sans Affleck.  He ran for the hills.  Smartest career move ever.

Affleck looked like he was going to make it back.  Get off that bad streak.  He went into Armageddon.  Huge hit (he did kill Bruce Willis though).  It was looking better!

He got to star with Sandra Bullock in Forces of Nature... That force made old Sandy run to never make another film with him again.  Spider Sense.  Bravo Sandy...Just wish it worked for your with Jesse James...we can't win them all.  But you saved your film career.

Then, old Kevin Smith broght him back for 2 more movies that were the precursors to hitting rock bottom, again courtesy of Affleck.  I'm getting ahead of myself.  Affleck and Smith convinced (I think I would call it guilt) Damon to appear in a small roll in two more failures, Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

He also was responsible for blowing up Pearl Harbor again with his horrible acting in a horrible film.

Somewhere in this time period, he met and started dating Jennifer Lopez.  Lopez, coming from nothing but hard work to get up in the business was at her highest point at this point.  Starring in her breakthrough role of Selena, acting with George Clooney in the fantastic film Out of Sight and having number one hit songs and tours as a singer.  J-Lo was on fire.  Then came Affleck.

The two of them started dating, he appeared in her videos and the two of them starred in the (before mentioned Rock Bottom) fall of Kevin Smith's Jersey Girl.  As the final nail in coffin of  Jennifer's rising film career came Gigli.  Sure, both Smith and Lopez would recover (kind of), but it wasn't until they got rid of Affleck.

The same year, Affleck took the time to really ruin one of my favorite comic book characters and kill the film franchise before it even had a chance to become one.  In the same film he met his future wife Jennifer Garner, who was fresh of the brilliant JJ Abrams TV series Alias.  She had nothing but success in her future.  She could be an action star, America's sweetheart.  Sky was the limit.  Then came Affleck.  The two of them starred in the horrible Daredevil.  She played Elektra (why, I have no idea).  Not only was the film a flop, but so was any future Daredevil movies.  Frank Miller wrote a series that could have been a film franchise.  Garner went on to do a horrible spin off of Elektra (another bomb) and so was the rest of her film career.  The two had kids, she's pretty much over with A list status and He is still out there getting more chances.

I can go on, but it makes me sound insane.

So below are some other examples of his career/franchise killing: 
 
The Sum of All Fears - He played Jack Ryan. A character Harrison Ford had made a franchise (fucker)
Clerks 2- Really Kevin? I feel like I need to stage an intervention

Things I will give him credit for, because I try and find a positive in everything:

Hollywoodland - Very good performance of George Reeves (Irony.  Reeves killed himself/was killed after killing the Superman franchise)
Gone Baby Gone - Didn't see it.  heard it was good
The Town - Heard it was good, didn't care, because it's Affleck and Boston.

I looked him up on IMDB and it looks like he will be spending more time directing and writing than acting.  I fear for the poor up and coming actor that may get caught in his web of career death.  I also saw Matt Damon may be in an untitled production as well.  I'm guessing the every ten years guilt  film.

I hope you have that Spider Sense, Matt.  I'm a huge fan.

And almost everything you'll see is eatable, edible. I mean, you can eat almost everything.

When you have two kids and are in charge of all things homemaking.  After you put on your dress and apron and really feel manly, you spend a lot of time doing laundry.  Lots of dirty clothes, dirty sheets and dirty towels, these are 3 things I can assure you if you don;t take care of, the boss will stick it to you when she gets home.

I was raised by a mom who wouldn't stand for any of these things, so I've already been trained to take care of these issues, even if I was working full time.  Laundry is a nuisance but the reality is that it really takes no time.  Other than the folding, the time to put it ion the washing machine and transfer it tot he dryer is about 90 seconds.  The washing is automatic.  Sure, folding and putting away could take a whole 5 minutes, but I'll sacrifice 5 minutes out of my very busy day to do it.

I recently discovered the Tide Pod.  This colorful pod is a miracle.  It really makes washing clothes real easy.  No measuring, so mess.  Just throw it in and that's it.  You are done.

Tide Pods

Of course... and there is always a catch, this pod is very dangerous around kids.  It really looks like an Everlasting Gobstopper candy made by Wonka.  I experienced the danger first hand.  I was sitting in my kitchen goofing off, I mean folding laundry, when I heard a "pop".  This "pop" was my 9 year old holding a pod and squeezing it.  Luckily, It just shot across the kitchen (just missing his eye by an inch).  I wanted to yell at him for playing with it, but when you see it, it looks like a balloon of some sort.  It cleaned my floors real nice, but made me realize that these babies need to be hidden.  I'm just glad he popped it and didn't try to eat it.  Like I said, It looks like something Wonka would make.

Wonka Everlasting Gobstopper

A few days later, my cousin Cindy came over and saw them.  She asked me if I had read about the dangers of the pods.  i hadn't.  Well, I'm just glad I'm not the only idiot parent not thinking.

Take this as my warning to you, so you don't have a bad experience.  Put these suckers up high and away from kids.  But enjoy their adult convenience.

I Call That A Bargain

Who doesn't love a deal.  Amazon does a daily deal.  Most of the time, they are useless items you will never need.  Sometimes, there is something you always wanted, but never could justify paying the asking price.

Following the Amazon deal of the day, you might just find something.  In addition to the deal of the day, there are also Lightning Deals.  These are usually hourly and have a time and quantity limit.

Items I have picked up included The Godfather Collection on bluray for $20.00 (I don't even have a bluray player), The Complete Little Rascals for $25.00 (I already own it, but could be a good gift), an Expedition First Aid Kit for $11.00 (you never know...but it was $11 bucks!), the Wolverine 35mm Slides and Negatives Digital Image Converter (love this) for $40.00 and have missed many deals due to not checking on time (A blessing in disguise).

I have the Amazon app on my iPhone to keep tabs when sitting around waiting for something to happen in my day (This is just sad).