Valentines Day. The Rose no one really knows

In 1994, when I was working at Columbia Records, i signed a band from Detroit called Sponge. If you are of the 90's you would know them or at least have heard their song "Plowed" (Yes, one of Howard Stern's favorite songs). It was a great time in the business. Records were selling, expense accounts were flowing, labels were developing artists. There was room for growth. But as we know, all good things must come to an end.

But that's not what this blog is about. That's a boring "i remember back" story that old fuckers like me seem to rehash daily, like guy I knew that would always remind me how much gas cost when they were kids. Only difference of course being, when they would talk about gas, i would know what they were talking about. If I mention Sponge to anyone under 30, they look at me with zero connection or reference. Then i have to remember, most of them were born after Kurt Cobain died. Where did the time go?

Anyway, back in 1994, I also met a wonderful young lady, who happened to be the 12 year old daughter of my friend Joe, who was a guitar player in Sponge. This young lady's name was Rosalyn. Funny, smart, and just a natural star. She was like a little sister to me from the get go. She had the luxury of growing up when her dad's band was in its prime. Got to go on tour, meet bands and just live the life. She had a natural gift for music and her enthusiasm and fearlessness, made me want to help her out. This lead to my first endeavor with her. One day, she was walking around her house singing a song over and over again. This of course because something her dad would tell Vinnie, the singer of Sponge about. They wrote and song and told me about it. I told them I would pay to have them record it and we could make a 7" from it. So, just like that, "I'm A Big Girl" with the b-side being "Femme Fetal" by Velvet Underground was recorded under the name 27 Mauve. The song would be performed as an encore on tour, sometimes with Rosalyn performing it, sometimes just the band. But, it because a fan favorite and we sold out of the 7" that were sold at shows.

It was pretty much set up to be a novelty item. But, Rose got the bug and just naturally gravitated to the guitar and singing. Her heroes at this point being Nirvana and Hole. She was all about that and punk rock. I was proud. I have always loved turning people onto music and she was ripe for influence. She of course, though a lot of the stuff i was turning her on to was shit. But, she was 14 at this point. It's expected.

I always knew something would happen with her, just what and when wasn't clear. During these next couple of years, with Saint Cobain being her religion, not only was she influenced by the music, but by the demons too. Neither I nor her dad were aware of this for a long time.

In 1999/2000, I had the ultimate highlight, situation both professionally and as a music fan experience. I spent a short time (a little less than a year), managing Rancid. One of my favorite bands that I had met in 1996 while at Columbia. Long story short, I was in the beginning of the (well documented) bidding war that ended very bad for one guy. I always kept a very good relationship with them (specifically Tim) because it was never about me getting the band. It was about them getting the best situation and when it didn't pan out in my favor, it was ok and i let them know that. Because of that, 5 years later they would ask me to look after them. It really was a dream come true for me. One of the bonus of that time working with Rancid, was being with Tim on a daily basis. At that time, he was married to Brody, who was starting a band called The Distillers. They were a 3 piece and fucking awesome. But, like Rancid (who were originally a 3 piece), i could see them needing a 2nd guitar player. One day I casually asked Brody if she would consider a 2nd guitarist and she told me she was dying for one, but wanted a girl and couldn't find one. The bell in my head rang (maybe that's why i have tinnitus)and I told her about Rose. I even told her she was coming out to visit me in a week or two (she wasn't), but i wanted them to meet each other. Brody was stoked and told me to make sure to have them meet when she came. Now, I needed to call Rose and her dad to see if she was interested and ask if i could fly her out to stay with me for a couple weeks to have her meet Brody. I got "Yes" all around, booked her a ticket, had her come out. Her and Brody met, and I think i saw her maybe 2 more times over the next two weeks. The two were inseparable and just clicked. It was awesome. Rosalyn, was now in The Distillers and recording and touring. She was 16 turning 17.

The next couple of years, i didn't see her, but kept tabs on her. I was always a phone call away, but she was living the rock and roll life. I still had no idea of her demons or how deep they went. After the 1st tour, she, now known as "Casper Rose" ended up moving to Berkeley and living with her then (most awesome) boyfriend Tim, who she met when he was in a band called Nerve Agents, who were also on the same label, Hellcat. I went up to visit her a couple times (i have no recollection why), but things seemed like they were not 100%. I would get calls from her dad or from her sometimes, when there was an issue that i could try and help out with, but she was a big girl. The Distillers ended up making their next album Sing, Sing Death House, where Rose actually contributed on songwriting on songs as felt like the band was going to pop. They had all the best going for them. But, Rose was a mess. Dope sick, addicted, every parents nightmare. They went on Warped Tour and she was literally out of control. She was literally the Sid Vicious of the band. Pure, real, a showman, but extremely volatile, unpredictable and dangerous to herself and to others. Fat Mike even wrote a song about her on the NOFX album War on Errorism called "Decom-Posuer" that basically was his observation of her. The bands motivation to move forward and her motivation of derail brought them to a parting. Rose left The Distillers soon after and honestly, for the public, her whereabouts became those of Big Foot. Many stories, theories, folklore.

For me and her dad, it was sad to see it happen, both of us knew her talent and how she was just self sabotaging her life. Nothing could be done. She was a dope addict with no motivation. The Distillers went on to do great. Even announcing a reunion (sans Casper Rose). It absolutely has been a "what if" for me. I don't think she ever cared as much as we did. But that was her at the time.

Over the next 10 years, with her dad being a very close friend, I would know what she was up to, where she was living, making sure she's alive. We would speak whenever she called me and I would always try and encourage her music. I promised her, anytime she had a desire to record, i would pay for it. She would "clean up", get motivated, call me, tell me about songs she wrote, send me demos. I sent her in the studio like 2 times over those years, the results would be inspiring, but usually organized confusion. But, what I did find was a voice and a natural gift. But, that gift and voice were wasted as long as she was a junkie. There is a lot of truth to the saying "Never trust a junkie". I just couldn't give up on her. We had so many start/stops of recovery, so many heartaches and conversations I would have with her dad. But he was amazing and also never gave up.

In 2012 (i think), she moved to Tallahassee, FL. She had to get out of Detroit, where she knew every junkie, thief, asshole in the world and was going to be found one day in an abandoned house shooting gallery. Her mom (xoxo Margo), was moving down there with her husband at the time and son and took Rosalyn. But, better weather doesn't take the junk out of the junkie. Junkies are like cockroaches, they live anywhere and everywhere. We started speaking again when she got down there. She really wanted to start playing again, and like I always promised, if she did, i would pay for it. We had more stop starts and she ended up meeting a good guy and having a baby.

Gia was born and I was sure this was the fix. It took a while, but through ups and downs, she made the decision and came to the realization that life wasn't going to be shit anymore. She checked herself into a rehab and remained there for a full year. While in there, she had self realizations, did yoga, worked on herself and did it for Gia. We would speak periodically, and she had a guitar and was writing songs. As always, I promised when she got out, i would pay for her to record.

She got out or rehab in 2016, she went to Detroit for Christmas and recorded 4 amazing songs that we released super DIY on an EP called Songs from Rehab. Musically, the EP is excellent. Lyrically, honest. It was a great return to the world. Not a "throw it out there", but a commitment and dedication. We set up social media accounts to slowly ease her back into the world. She was warmly received and reconnected with Brody though social media. That was a good closure, full circle for her. Both Moms now, still writing and playing. The Ep was a very quiet release, got a little press, put out a 7" with a great indie label in LA called Wink And Spit. The label owner (and artists herself) Kelsey was a Distillers fan and reached out to her through social media. We had no expectations for the release, I just wanted to encourage her songwriting and get her going and doing what she is gifted to do.

A year passed and life happens. You have kids, they take priority. She's a great mom and just such a wonderful human. She called me in August and stared sending me songs she was working on. They were all great. So, we made a plan to record again. So once again at Christmas, she went back to Detroit and recorded 3 new songs with her band which includes her dad, Joe on bass.

We just released the 1st of the 3. A song called Valentines Day. Again, a lyrically honest song with a beautiful melody and vocal performance. We made a video on her iPhone that Gia shot and I edited with my limited editing skills (DIY). The reception has been good so far. Hopefully more people discover it, because it deserves it.

Never give up. This has been what I have lived by. You believe in something or someone, stick with them. I believe in Rose. Since she was 12. I'm not looking to get rich, but what I can do is help her express herself and hope other people discover her too. I teach at a music school. I believe in passion and if there is something there. i want to be someone who at least can help them see it in themselves and maybe even move the ball forward.

Rose could have easily have given up. Shit, she actually did a few times, but she bounced back. From junkie to mom. Never lost her heart and never lost me. Her continuous hard work at keeping her life together and fueling her creativity. Building a great life with her boyfriend Thomas, his kids and the light of her life Gia, i couldn't be prouder of her.

Happy Valentines Day, Kid.

Holler If You Hear Me

It’s been a while since I have “blogged”. I don’t know why. I actually really enjoy writing and (I guess) getting thoughts out of my head. It can be dangerous to keep thoughts in your head. Plus, thoughts can park themselves in prime real estate of your brain. So, I was getting in the habit of getting those thoughts out to clear up said real estate for new ones. It’s been a while, so the real estate is losing value. Time to clean up the neighborhood.

The main thing that has been squatting in my brain has been a hard subject to talk about. Mostly, because it’s easy to sound (my least favorite term) “bitter”. But, what How I see it, it’s never been a “bitter” feeling, just a confused, disappointed and depressing question and subject.

That question is “what happened?”. What happened to me in the last 10 years? Where did the career I had worked so hard for go and how did it go away so quickly. This subject was one that over the years through reading social media posts and speaking with friends, former colleagues and just general observance I saw that this isn’t a subject and question that I alone ponder.

I also saw that it wasn’t a “music business” issue. It’s an everything one. I know that business evolves, everything does, but when I was younger, it didn’t happen this fast. Maybe it’s the new world standard. Everything is just happening prematurely. When I started in the music business, I could look at my mentors and they were the age I am now, with many years left in their long careers. Somewhere along the line, that life expectancy was cut in half. Something i wish I knew would happen before i started. I would have looked into another profession.

But it’s not just me. It’s many people. People in the world where the 401k automatically was getting fed with every paycheck stopped getting fed a decade ago. The world where insurance has become a game of hoping nothing too bad happens while putting it on hold until you have enough money to sign up again for a plan that covers more than one check up a year. A world where you are actually better off dead than alive for your kids, because the one smart thing you did was invest and make sure to pay your life insurance policy.

So back to the question of “what happened?”....

Well, everything did. For me, it was the music business began to shrink. As a creative person, you are only as good as your last hit and I always ran a marathon. I worked with artists for the long haul. But as the business started changing, the marathon winner was a dreamer. It became a sprint game. A very crowded sprint game.

So, luckily I adjusted. Before the Napster years, I was (rather painfully) removed from a job that I had done well in. Why, doesn’t matter. But, at that time, I moved coasts and wanted to dip my feet into a new pool and learn something new that I had zero understanding on. The idea was to expand my knowledge to make me a better rounded person and not one dimensional. I learned under one of the best and was grateful for that 2 year crash course. After that tenure, I was spent and needed a break. Took a sabbatical (also known as not being able to find a job) and just got back to remembering why I got into it in the first place. I listened to music and went to shows again not because I “had to”, but because I wanted to. Because of that forced head clearing and time away from the grind of it, I was able to actually enjoy it again and found myself stumbling upon many new bands, writers, scenes, etc. It was magical.

From that, I voluntarily began helping these artist meet people in the business that I still knew. I had been fortunate to where I can at least still get a call answered and a song listened to based on my reputation and relationships. Don’t know about that these days though. More in that later. Anyway, bands got signed (and did quite well), managers got new clients (and did really well) and from that, I actually got a 2nd life at a label and publishing company. I thought i was out... and they pulled me back in. This was not a curse at all, but a blessing.

I had another amazing run at my new company for 5 years. See when I took a job anywhere, i was retiring there if it was up to me. Didn’t take a job to get a job. You hired me, you got me for life. Loyal as fuck.

Also during that time(Well before you could have 10 jobs at once), being at a label meant you couldn’t do outside jobs or work outside of your contract as it was seen as a conflict of interest. Understandably so. Today, you can work as a VP for a parent label, have a label, own a publishing company and manage producers and songwriters where you sign an artist to your label that is paid for by the parent label, but the artists needs to work with your songwriters that you publish and are produced by the producers and engineers you manage. Sounds fair. But I digress...

Anyway, even though i worked for the label and publishing company, I had many developing interests in artists and ideas that weren’t ready for prime time. So, through a friends developing company, I made an arrangement that would allow me to bring in said not ready for prime time players and ghost manage them. What that meant was for every act i would bring in, I would be the silent manager and one of the people at the management company, would co-manage and be the “face”. Which was great for me. I could be involved, if there was any money to be made, i could invest it back into the management company (because i had a salary and wasn’t looking to double dip), but by investing back, I was setting up my next career should my job ever go away, while helping manage the careers of these up and comers. I never take credit, but that has been a huge mistake for me, because by being humble and letting the light shine onto others, I have gotten erased from history. If it wasn’t for other people being around at that time and seeing it first hand, and me saving all the emails and instant messages, I would actually be a ghost and/or a liar.

See, this is where you may be rolling your eyes and calling me bitter. I know... it sounds like me bitching and crying. So, why does this matter?

Well, because this was around the time when “what happened?” starts.

It starts here because this is when label mergers went into full gear. I would say around 2005. The company I was at was NY based and I was in the West Coast office (staff of 27). As the mergers started within a 2 year period, the staff went from 27, to 22, to 17 to 13 (when i was made redundant) to 9 to 7 to a logo.

When my tenure ended, I would have thought that I had a place to go, since I had invested and been a pretty important part of a roster that changed them from being a rap metal management roster (with some up and coming writers who weren’t quite there yet, but got there and boy did they... FYI... absolutely ZERO to do with me). I only claim the bands and direction as something I had to do with. But, in the last year before my redundancy, there was an “issue” that happened at the company. And from my stand point, where there might have been good cause or reason, I didn’t agree with the manner it was handled. Of course, with my stupid punk rock ethics, had to state my thoughts. Anyone that knows me (and these people were family to me) I need to speak my mind for when something doesn’t feel right ethically. In this case the handling of the situation and the financial resolution were both handled very poor and quite honestly, hurtful to witness. The company was built on being the “good guys” and the exit and restitution was not what a “good guy” would do and I said it. Only thing was, you don’t say those types of things to the most liked person in the world. But, like i said, this person was like family to me and I’m open and honest with family, just to hope they see things from another side that’s not coming from anything other than honesty. Bad move.

Long story short, there was no home for me to go to. Persona non grata. It actually took almost 5 years to start repairing that one. I think it’s pretty good now. Very sad it will never be what it was. It’s hard to find friends out here that you feel are true. But, that’s life. The company flourished and continues. I’ve heard my “involvements” pop up here and there, but they are very watered down, so I’ve almost been written out completely, but I still have a gravestone somewhere that gets some sun every once in a while.

I have never seen much of a hand raised to look out for me. Is that because my former partner knows about my pride? Who knows, but it does contribute to “what happened?”.

On the other side, the friend I stood up for, he has reinvented himself and done great on his own. But again, I professionally haven’t seen anything float my way. He's one of the most righteous and genuinely nice people I know. His friendship all these years is reward enough for me.

Now it sounds like I’m bitter again. I know. But it’s not bitter. I think in this world where survival has become harder. We all know it’s who you know. So, in this case, I know some heavy motherfuckers. So “what happened?” that knowing the biggest people out there, I’m out here wondering how to get a new client or how to reach someone i used to know on behalf of my current clients, because I “seem” to know a lot of people and “seem” to have a pretty great reputation.

I do pride myself on being someone who can make it on his own. Over time, I realized that is more of my way with dealing with people not being as open about assisting me. I have zero problem helping people. It’s actually rewarding for me to see someone succeed from any contribution I made. I’m not saying I’m better than others, but much like my realization of how to deal with feelings alone out here, my helping others rewards me and gives me hopes that somehow through karma, it’ll come back to me. Spoiler alert... it doesn’t. But if it makes you (me) feel better, that should be reward enough.

I have always said, if karma points were air miles, I could fly around the world 1st class at least 3 times. But, they aren’t. Coach it is.

So being the “make it on your own” person I have become. Since the “what happened” period started, I have looked of ways to reinvent myself. Learn something new. Be well rounded. Be a person that can do everything really well. Not kinda ok. I mean like do any task. I learned a lot by trial and error. Never scared to try something and if I wasn't able to do it, i would teach myself. That has kept me going for a long time. So in these years of figuring it out day by day, every once in a while an opportunity would come up that I would look at (now this is where many of you reading this can really relate). These opportunities (another way of saying “jobs”) would come via word or mouth, recommendation or job posting (the worst). I’m not one who looks at a job and says “eh, I can kinda do that...”, I have to look at it and say “fuck this... I can do ALL of that”. So whether it’s word or moth, recommendation or job posting, I’m gonna give it a shot. I would say I get a call 2/10 times. Job posting is all key words and apparently, if your resume has all the job qualifications they list (word for word) none of those are the actual key words to get you looked at, so you get the automated “thanks but you don’t meet the qualifications we are looking for”, even though your resume has ALL of the qualifications they listed. When it comes to word of mouth or recommendation, by the time you get in contact, 9/10 times they already have someone (in house hire), so they might schedule you an interview out of courtesy or just have an assistant “reschedule” you until they just stop rescheduling.

I have two potential “opportunities” that stood out to me. They were both jobs i was very qualified for. One I didn’t even know was a potential “opportunity” until it was brought to my attention. This one was something that would have been called a “dream job”. I went to see an old friend with an idea. Some say I’m a dreamer. I had this idea for a way to exploit a catalog in a really creative way that would both make fans happy and be a way for a new audience to discover this band. Though this idea, there could be a new “soundtrack” vs repackaging the same shit over and over. A win for the label, a win for the publishers, a win for merchandise and a huge win for the legacy. Let’s call the band... I don’t know... ok... the Ramones. If anyone knows me, I kinda like the band. So I called an old friend who was so sweet and willing to meet with me. He did not need to at all. He’s very busy and I just appreciated the courtesy. Real stand up move. Went in, told my idea, somehow the conversation steered to him wanting to expand and had been thinking about adding someone. He knew my background and while it had some of the skills, there was a lot to learn. So, I was beyond excited and have zero issues learning from the bottom up. I’m a fast learner and put me in a new environment and I’m there to soak up as much as I can. I am a great utility player. Don’t ever want to be captain, just want to be on the team and hope to help the team win. Fast forward, he has me meet with his current team as i would be working under them and learning the ropes. Again, no ego here. Just excited about the opportunity.

Meet for lunch with the two guys and I start off by saying how much I love The Ramones and how they are one of my favorite bands, to where the reply was “yeah... they are everyone’s favorite band”. I knew at that moment this was going to be a long/short lunch. The whole time there, i was just trying to break the wall and just let them get to know me. It wasn’t gonna happen. With every description of how shitty the tasks would be, i would reply with great enthusiasm. It was legitimate. After about 40 minutes, the main guy asks for the check and stands up and says “ok thanks. We’ll get back to you after the holiday”. Thanksgiving was coming up. So, he starts to walk away towards the parking lot. Exactly where i was going. That exit was not too smooth. We then get down the stairs and he abruptly says goodbye again... only to start walking in the same direction as me. It appeared we were parked next to each other. One last goodbye and finally he is rid of me. I sent a follow up email to them thanking them for their time, and email their boss saying how much I enjoyed them.

A week after Thanksgiving, I have not heard from them. So, I email with a joke saying “well, we never specified after which holiday i would hear from you, so I hope to hear from you by MLK day”. I guess that didn’t go over well. I never got a reply. The Ramones have released some great repackages of albums I have bought 3 times already.

The other job, falls into the category of word of mouth/recommendation. It was a job at a company that I have actually been praising in their business model for the 21st century. I was told of this position by a friend who actually interviewed for it, but couldn’t relocate, so suggested me (one of my best friends to this day with as many stories, if not more, than me). I went into this meeting at very high recommendation by very high level people, so at least i would be considered as a potential candidate. This job I actually fit every single qualification.

The day of the meeting, i went in, was actually there for over an hour, and answered and knew every single thing they asked and had answers to every question asked. Thai was my world. No on the job training needed. All was going well when the hiring manager (in the middle of me speaking) just stands up and says “ok. Thanks for your time. I have to go”. He walked out the door while shaking my hand and I just stood there like a person staring at the gate as the plane pulls away. I left, emailed both of the people I met with. Thanked them for their time and appreciated them taking so much time out of their day. Never heard from either again.

I found out a week later from my friend who suggested me that he had gotten an email from the main person saying they had hired someone already. The date of that email was the same day I went in to interview. I wish I could have that hour of my life back.

I have spent a lot of time just shrugging my shoulders and saying “oh well”, but oh well has become “what happened?”.... what did I do to put myself in this situation? I would get it if I was an asshole to people, kicked puppies or screwed people over, but I wasn’t, I don’t and I haven’t.

I’m not bitter, just confused. Wondering what will be next, how can I fix it, can I fix it, where will I be next year?

I’m thankful for my kids. They have nothing but hope in their eyes and their futures. That’s what makes me keep on keeping on. I love what I do. I'm fortunate that I am able to still work doing what I have done for 25 years, I still have no ego about who I am or what I do. I can meet with big wigs, i can throw out the garbage. Who gives a shit. I teach young, talented students at a university and I still work with artists that can sell out venues and sell directly to fans through social media only, i have gotten to develop young artists purely DIY and have been able to get them going, slowly growing a career. The marathon mentality. So, no complaints professionally. I just wish it was more stable.

I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this. So what happened? I still don't know, but you aren't alone. Stay positive.

Holler if you hear me.

Up In Smoke*

*I couldn't think of a better title that describes cannabis and the state of artist discovery and development in 2016

I had a blast the other night appearing on the Elevate the Conversation podcast/show with @IAmDoctor420.

I'm a huge advocate for the use of cannabis as a medicinal alternative. I always have been. I think the amount of prescribed and over the counter medications that exist that are part of the pharmaceutical is such a huge business and so dangerous in long terms and in addiction, that to ignore the benefits of naturally grown cannabis to deal with the ailments a lot of the patients go to use cannabis is absolutely criminal. Cannabis is considered a class 1 drug by the DEA. That puts it in the category with Heroin, crystal Method and other drugs that are chemically created and have a dangerous effect in long term use. This alone is absurd.

Of course, the social and recreational use is a huge part of medicinal cannabis, but let's look at what we are talking about. It's not heroin. Seriously.

I have always heard the term "gateway" drug when referring to cannabis and that in itself is ridiculous. That's like saying beer is a gateway to alcoholism. These are both social and recreational substances that when enjoyed are normal. When abused, sure they can be dangerous. The only difference is you don't get in fights when medicated. You go to sleep. You don't hear about medicated driving as much as you hear about drunk driving. Shit, more people drive high on Xanax daily (pharmaceutical approved) and that's dangerous as fuck. Combine that with alcohol and you have people blacking out. You don't black out in cannabis.

The "gateway" factor comes from something deeper in someone's subconscious and issues that elevate the opportunity of addiction. But, you can't blame that path in cannabis. If you do, blame Zoloft, Paxil, klonopin, Xanax, oxycontin and every other prescribed medication. Abuse is going to happen as long as people are prescribed them and don't deal with other issues that drive them to addiction.

I grew up with a mother who had rheumatoid arthritis. I think she was on (at least) 6 different meds a day to treat various things. She didn't want to live on those. Who does? In the mid 80's I remember she was prescribed medicinal cannabis to help with certain parts of her daily pains and ailments. I don't think she stuck with it as long as someone would, but in 1985, medicinal cannabis was not understood or agreed on socially and medically. So, in the long run, she stuck with prescribed meds and drank socially. Socially of course leads to drinking daily. She wasn't an alcoholic, but defiantly drank to close out the night. Again, I don't blame her. I can't imagine what it was like to be in her body, looking at the world through limited opportunities, mostly physically. Not being about to walk, do things independently, like cook dinner for us. But she was my queen in teaching me how to do it through her. I'm grateful. I can't imagine how life would have been if the stigma of cannabis use was not so frowned upon. I think she would have had an easier time than resorting to drinking. Plus, for a frail woman, her appetite would have increased rather than not being able to eat well because of all the pills that I'm sure mixed would make you nauseous and unable to actually eat.

I've known many addicts and alcoholics in my life. I must say, it's a rare thing when you get to know one who doesn't have a story of some sort of traumatic experience that has been buried or silenced for decades that comes out eventually and they turn to substance abuse, but never has it been from smoking a joint.

I'm a casual user. If I was Cheech and Chong, I'd be Cheech. The guy that looks the part, acts the part, but when it comes down to it, is a huge lightweight. When I'm with friends, they can blaze up and I just look in amazement on what they can take down and function. I know my limits. My best friend is my Chong. She could match Snoop Dogg dab for dab. But what's amazing to me is, she's 100% aware, functional and responsible. Sure a pothead, but not the stereotypical, living in her parent garage not working and not doing anything. I admire the dedication and love she has for her job, being reliable and aware. That's today's real cannabis users. Of course the basement living stereotypes exist, but it's not all of them.

There people that I always have had a problem with that criticized and looked down upon cannabis use. I think I'm pretty safe to say that 80% of them were wine drinkers. Very judgmental while having no problem posting photos of them at a winery enjoying a Merlot or at a "classy" gathering of cheese and wine.

Well, let's compare the two.

Both come and are cultivated by the earth. Makers of wine are artists. They blend, they are scientific about it, where they grow it, weather conditions. The same can be said about cannabis growers. What they do with earth, blending and cultivating grows these plants into beautiful works of nature.

The time to harvest, the time it takes to actually get it ready, pick at the right time and prepare. Both growers are very organic and try not to grow with pesticides and harmful products to compromise their grows.

In wine, you have a Sommeliers who is an expert in wine to help you find exactly what you are looking in taste and mood as well for pairing with food. In cannabis, dispensaries have experts who go the same. What are you looking for in flavor, mood, feel and ailment.

When you open a bottle of wine, you smell, taste and have a process to judge the quality. With cannabis, the dispensary will have jars of flower that you can smell, look at under a magnifying glass to see the bud up close and see the beauty, colors and texture of the strain.

Even to the point of the enjoyment, the crafting of glass. In wine, beautiful glass is made to drink from, decanters all for presentation and use. Same is done with cannabis. Glass is blown for pipes, dab rigs and bongs. They are works of art that are useful.

So, in the end the similarities are there, but the stigma of cannibus makes these wine appreciating people superior culturally over cannibus users.

My thing about this is that is I feel like these people that frown upon cannabis users while drinking their wine is they maybe should put themselves in the place of these people that use it for medicinal purposes to aid them with an illness that include nausea, loss of appetite, migraines, fatigue, anxiety and so many other ailments people go to cannabis for... Ironically, the same side effects you have from drinking too much... Wine.

You go to a dispensary in Los Angeles and it never fails who you run into. People of all races, religions, age and socioeconomic backgrounds. It's a legitimate alternative for people. They don't judge each other while in there, the people who run these places look happy to be able to offer this service that makes people feel better. Dr. 420 was a very successful spinal surgeon prior to becoming a doctor who can give recommendation letters to grant these patients the opportunities of cannabis. He will be the first to say that it's the most gratifying thing he's ever done, because these people who come to him have been in hell for years and this is their final chance. His service is great, because in our world, the continuing stigma attached to cannabis is still frowned upon and the way he does it is not by going to Venice Beach and walking into some weird house that makes you feel like you are doing something wrong. It's over his site, he gets online with you talks to you about your issues and supports your decision. If I wasn't a patient already and wasn't sure of the decision, after talking to him, I'd be sold from feeling good about it.



The show was informative, funny and I got to talk about the music business. A few people I know watched it and thought the insight I had with regard to today's music industry and musical artistry was good. I'm far from an expert. I'm a dummy who used to be in it and has a passion for music, trends (music, technology, etc) and just wants to figure it out.

If any of this sounds of interest to you and you are tired of the olympics, the 24 hour news cycle, Donald Trump and all the other bullshit we get stuck with, watch this Interview and the others he's posted from his show. There are video versions on youtube and podcast versions.



Itunes Podcast version

He's a funny motherfucker.

You're The Reason I Can't Listen To The Same Songs I Used To

Being someone who has spend his entire adult life in a business that has pretty much collapsed, I have been in this place trying to figure out what to do on a creative level.

I worked in music, but was never a musician, so writing songs was never an option. I don't know how to craft the words into poetry like so many of the people i listen to.

Art has always been a frustrating thing for me to understand, so I learned how to admire it and appreciate it. More than anything, how to use other peoples words to create a feeling that I can share with others.

I've been doing this since i was kid. The mixtape.

Even though I don't work at a record company anymore, I still have the great pleasure to work with artists. It's consulting, managing, advising.

The real challenge this time around is that the entire world of discovery has changed. So many places to hear music, so many ways to distribute it. These are all great things, but the problem becomes that it's an overcrowded space. Not enough hours in the day to listen to everything. So many distractions to keep people focused enough to appreciate music as an experience. The Album has become a hard thing to drive people towards. Its a singles world.

The mix tape concept can still exist on soundcloud or spotify, but there is something to be said about the art of giving something you put together as a gift. The physical presentation. The manual labor behind the curating and the song selections for the mood you are trying to convey. Creating art for it, the actual physical act of handing it to someone and having them take it somewhere to listen to it.

The physical product. The chances someone will take that tactile experience and take the next step to put it on, let it run uninterrupted, just seems more personal.

With digital mixes, you can't hand it to someone. You send a link and it ends up in a cue that may or may not make it it into the playlist. This while youtube, email, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Instant Message and TMZ alerts are all pausing the experience. The mixtape (CD), you can load in your car and get lost in the songs while battling traffic or just cruising home late at night.

I recently thought about this while working with a newer act called St. Ranger. His album is special. It's an album in the true sense. The problem, like mentioned before, is that nobody has the patience these days to listen to a full album. Too many distractions. So, the idea was to hook them with a song or two to subliminally make the next investment of time to explore further. I figured the best thing we could do, was create a mixtape based on the theme of one of his songs, "Happy". Get it to the audience and encourage them as a call to action, to get involved. Make their friend a mixtape, with the theme of one of the songs from his album. So far, it's generated some movement and actions to increase the experience. Take it old school.

When I started making mixtape in school, they were always for girls. You wanted to connect with them in a way that expressed what you felt. What you wanted them to know about you. What you felt about them. I would turn people onto bands through a song sandwiched between something they knew. That song would become their favorite, then the next song would, but it was a form of communicating with someone in a subliminal and romantic way. A soundtrack to the courting, the relationship and musically document what they would share and feel.

I think my favorite documentation of this in a movie was in Say Anything. The main character, Lloyd Dobbler made it his form of expression. Being someone who would get nervous and uotknow what to say, he would make a tape to express his feelings. He would use a song to express his love (in the most iconic use of a boombox ever in film or television). I could always relate to Lloyd. I wasn't as bad as he was in expressing thoughts, but music just did it better. Plus, we had the same taste in music.

Getting back to my attempts to work out my creative thoughts, I continued to keep coming up at a loss. But, I would remember fondly on the mixtape and what it meant and what it was. I would think of the joys it would take to go through the steps of the courting a girl, the falling in love and even the break up. There was always a theme and a mood to these tapes.

There was an excitement period where you would put your 1st tape together to just "court" the girl. Get her to see how "cool" you were. Charm her with your diverse taste in music and start the hinting about your feelings.

The next one would be the "loving" tape. The one where you would get romantic and show your love for her. Show her in someones words to express how these songs make you feel about you and her. You would find the slow song... the one that would become "your song".

Lastly, would be the "break up" Mixtape. The one where you would attempt everything to get her back. You'd plead and beg for her to give it another shot. The songs would be about love, loss and hope. This was usually the tape that never got listened to because you blew it and she was done.

I always thought this would be a great movie. Something everyone can relate to. But, I'm not a writer. I just make mix tapes.

Click the links and listen to these 3 stages. If you like them, download them. Burn them, share them.

If anything, go back to that time in our life, when you showed and shared your emotions through song.

Music is a gift.

You're Sheer Perfection (Thank You)

When I read the rumor yesterday that someone had been found unresponsive at Paisley Park, I got mad that anyone would create a stupid rumor. But, in typical fashion, the rumor was proven right within 5 minutes of the original post.

Prince was dead.

I was about to start teaching a class to 6 young students who weren't even a thought in their parents minds when Purple Rain came out. Shit, They weren't a thought when Emancipation was released... But what was amazing was when I told them the news, it hit them as if it was an artist they grew up on, just as I did.

I taught my class and every 10 minutes, i would have to break my lecture to talk about Prince. But, it didn't hit me emotionally, it was more of the shock and the memories I had that related to him and his music. I actually finished the class early by 15 minutes, which is something I never do, because I like to hear myself talk... but I was out of things to say. It really was shock.

After that, I spoke to a couple friends, but still wasn't hitting me. Then every station was doing their tributes, monuments being lit up in purple, news reports, twitter comments, Facebook comments. There was no ignoring the truth.

This morning it hit me and I got to remembering why this individual was so important to me. It was the music. It was the swagger. It was the punk rock. It was the fuck it attitude. It was everything he was about.

I first heard Prince in (I want to say) 1980. My friend Nakato Mubanda, who was a few years older than me let me borrow Prince's 2nd album. We both lived in Waterside Plaza and Nakato and her brothers were like an extended family. We all knew each other from going to school together, hanging out on the plaza together, it was NYC in the 80's. She handed me the album and I remember looking at it wondering who this dude was and why was he on a Pegasus on the back? I put that album on and I don't think a week has gone past where I haven't listened to something by Prince. I still have that record. I think it's too late to give it back. plus, I don't know where Nakato is, but I love her and her brothers and thank her for our friendship to this day.

My love for Prince would only continue for the years. I remember buying Controversy and actually learning The Lords Prayer because of this album. It was kinda how i learned my times tables through Schoolhouse Rock. It needed to be something I could sing, I guess. Anyway, that album came with (like many of Prince's LP's) a poster of Prince in a bikini in the shower with a crucifix hanging on the shower tile. I thought this was the funniest thing ever and remember showing it to my mother thinking she would hate it Well, she didn't. So much for teenage rebellion. Only Prince could come up with songs, lyrics and imagery that would stick in your head forever. He was also that artists that could put such a poster in the album and both women and guys (straight or gay) would hang it up in their room.

Then of course would come 1999 and MTV. We all knew Little Red Corvette by heart and 1999 of course. But it was that double album that we would all learn word for word and play at every party. This songs introduced people to Prince, but he wasn't about only the hits. We all knew what D.M.S.R. stood for and that was an album track. Every song on this album sounds just as fresh today as it did in 1981. The man was brilliant. How many artists could write a song about the millennium 18 years the would become the anthem for the turn of the century?

Then there was Purple Rain. I remember being in Nova Scotia visiting family that summer. I had just turned 15 and the movie was coming out the following week. I made my dad take me, because there was no way I was going to miss that film the day it came out. It was a musical version Star Wars. I just watched it and felt like, what the fuck just happened. You could feel something happening to everyone there and it showed as the year went on. Prince was now a household name. The album was a classic. It was still Prince. He never changed for anyone. it was sexual, controversial, heart felt, funky, guitar heavy and pop. Nobody could do that and cross so many musical genres and gain such die acceptance from everyone.

I could go on and on about the obvious... but I feel like everyone has the same types of memories. Some additional highlights that involved Prince included... He was the only artists I camped out all night to get tickets to his 1988 Lovesexy Tour at Madison Square Garden (i snuck in a tape recorder and taped it), I got to see his purple BMW parked outside of the Record Plant everyday while Tim Palmer was mixing the debut Sponge album. During that time, found out that Prince would go in around 10pm, write, record and mix a whole album by the following morning. I actually got to see him there once. We were told not to look at him, but I was all "fuck that, I'm looking", so I did and when he saw me I immediately looked at the floor. Yes he had that kind of vibe.

I got to see him play two surprise shows at the House of Blues, one private event at Roseland, traded tapes with other fans of rarities, live shows and demos (much like the Grateful Dead fans would trade live shows), made many friends just because of our love of Prince.

I think I own every 12" he ever put out and every CD. With Prince, it wasn't about the hits. It was about the b-sides as well. There are so many songs that people may or may not know about. For example, the B-side of Mountains, from Parade was "Alexa De Paris"...an instrumental that he plays drums on that just will blow your mind. I would have posted it, but you won't find it online.

All the songs he wrote for other people that were huge, the artists he nurtured, the careers he made and the musicians he discovered... his legacy is one of a legend indeed.

I will forever miss him. Even though I wasn't into the later stuff as much, he was still and will only be the only Prince.

What other artist could be identified by a single name, a symbol and a color.

If you need me, I'll never leave
I know, that you know, without you there is no me
There is no me
Without you there is no sea
There is no shore
Love is to weak to define how much I adore
You, child
You, child
The last words you hear

Goodnight, Sweet Prince.

Give me a moment, some kind of mysterious

I gave up on music videos a while ago.  Mostly because there was no place to really watch them and the fact that the majority of them became product placement commercials for headphones, body spray and Samsung.

A couple months ago I was watching Palladia on Directv.  Palladia shows great concert films, performances, and events like Glastonbury.  Places I would love to go and see live, but as I've gotten older, much more enjoy from my couch.  Less people, less mud and better views and sound.
I was busy cooking dinner or something and it was just serving as background noise that I could look over at times to see what was happening.  Whatever I was originally watching was already over, but the TV was still on and stuff was still playing.  I suddenly heard a song I wasn't familiar with, but recognized the voice.  I walked over to my TV and it was a video for a song by The Killers called "Shot at the Night" from their Direct Hits album.  The song itself was great, but I wanted to see the video.  I hit rewind on my remote and started from the beginning.  From the moment the song began, the visual grabbed me to the point that I had to sit down and watch.  I did this about 4 more times in a row.

The song, like I said, is fantastic, but this visual that told a story to this song was even better.  A beautiful story, with great direction and acting.  It actually tugged on my heartstrings in such a way, that this song has became my obsession for months.  The combination of the video and song did everything I love about the how the two mediums can complement each other to elevate the feeling to a whole other place you never knew existed. The video for "Shot at the Night" is (to me) a short film and not a music video.  A story of a working class girl from Las Vegas, who works at a hotel where people come in and out and both her and the visitors are just faceless and interchangeable objects in a 24 hour period.  The girl (portrayed by Bella Heathcote), represents (and totally nails) a naturally beautiful, lonely girl who's life is a repetitive, uneventful cycle of just her and her cat.  She goes to work, goes home and then back to work.  Until one day, while driving the strip of Las Vegas in her beat up, old used car almost hits a young man as she daydreams while behind the wheel.  The two lock eyes for a brief moment, they smile and she continues to her soulless job.  As she continues her daily duties, she once again almost hits this same young man, this time with her housekeeping cart.  It's a deja vu moment for the two that is kismet.  The young man, (perfectly cast Max Minghella), invites the young housekeeper to join him and his friends for the evening.  The young housekeeper goes in the room with the girl that is with the young men and she pulls out  a dress for the evening for them to go out.  The young housekeeper then reveals herself a Cinderella story.  They leave and she goes out to live outside of who she is for her "shot in the night".  The visuals of the two new found lovers is so romantic as they experience each other with such passion, I felt like I was experiencing that magical feeling with them.

As this is all happening, you have Brandon Flowers singing the song from above in a room overlooking the Las Vegas night like a Greek chorus or narrator.  His presence is perfect for this story.

What I love so much about this is that the song, (when I listen) gives me a romantic feeling that I could paint into any situation, but this story (written and directed by Roboshobo) feels like the song was written just for this story.  The video served the purpose I always felt a great video was made for.  It took my emotions for a song to the next level.
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When music videos first came out, it was such an exciting time.  As a kid watching MTV at 12 years old, I was just starting to go to shows, but prior to the music video, I would spend hours a day listening to an album, looking at the album cover, reading the lyrics, liner notes, reading magazines like Rolling Stone, Creem, Hit Parader anything that could take me further into the world of these songs and voices.  Waiting for concert films or the actual acts to do a concert to come to town, so I could experience what I have spent so much time looking at still photos.

Images in magazines of Gene Simmons spitting blood, Pete Townesnd doing a windmill or Paul Weller and Bruce Foxton jumping (what looked like) 10 feet in the air.  The music video now allowed me to see this.  I would then spend my time between watching videos and reading liner notes.  The level of passion for a song was beginning to go to another level.  Of course, with this new level of connection, I would start making mix tapes for girls and send them musical love letters...That's another story.

When the music video first came out, there was so much trial and error of what to do with this medium.  The concert performance that brought the pages of the magazines to life.  Seeing David Lee Roth do his martial arts kicks, NWA taking you to Compton or even Tom Petty telling you the story of Eddie as he took you "Into the Great Wide Open".  Sure, there were more stinkers than winners, but it was a work in progress.

This new art of being able to mix the feeling of a song to a visual became a new experience that to this day I can't explain in words.   My first experience of this was the film "Over the Edge".  The soundtrack was adolescence of the late 70's explained in  11 songs.  In the 80's teen films were amazing, because the music placed in a film was doing this emotional enhancement by raising the bar of a moment with a song.  Certain directors were masters of this.  John Hughes comes to mind immediately.  The use of "If You We're Here" by Thompson Twins at the end of Sixteen Candles or "Don't You Forget About Me" at the end of Breakfast Club were as important to the scene as what was happening on screen.  The song never had to literally fit the scene, just hold the same feeling of what you were watching, whether it was a melody or a chorus.  John Hughes used "This Woman's Work" by Kate Bush in his (not as successful) film She's Having A Baby as there is uncertainty of the birth of this couples child.  The tone and vocal of Kate Bush, took this frightening and joyful moment and made you feel it in your soul.  John Hughes was a master.  There are other directors that share this same level of importance that music plays telling (or feeling) a story .  Cameron Crowe and more recently, Zack Braff with Garden State and Judd Apatow (and all affiliated directors). There are many more, but I can't think of them right now.

Television has been the place that has been carrying the creative flag of well done placement of music to a feeling in a story.  The beauty of this has been that it's been an amazing place for new artists to be discovered and exposed.  Judd Apatow and Paul Feig were so good at this in the brilliant "Freaks and Geeks"that they held off from putting out the box set until the songs used were all cleared.  The use of the songs were as important as the dialogue.  One scene that comes to mind, was a scene where the character "Bill" comes home after school to reveal that he is an only child of a single mother and (like many kids of the 70's and 80's) was a "latchkey" kid.  He comes home, makes himself a sandwich, and watches the Dinah Shore show as Gary Shandling performs Stand Up.  The scene has no dialogue and is sound tracked by "I'm One"by The Who.

This is magic. Another moment of sheer brilliance and could not have closed and wrapped up a series better was the use of Sia "Breathe Me" to close Six Feet Under.  I don't know one person who wasn't effected to the point of crying and being saddened when it was over.  I was in a dark haze for 2 weeks.  Without the use of the song, I really don;t know if it would have been the same.  Nor, do I care.  Because, this is how I feel it had to be.


The soundtrack and the music video lost their way when it became about a financial win.  Soundtracks in the 90's started this with music "inspired by" soundtracks, putting together soundtracks to place their new acts on for exposure and handing over B sides of their A list acts.  This from my experience, was not due to the supervisors, but the label dictating placements. The "Inspired by" songs were dumped into a soundtrack that are never even heard in the film or had any association other than using film artwork.  The Matrix, Spiderman, Hunger Games, etc... and the music video became a product placement source.  You watch any video and for no reason, someone opens a Sprite or grabs some Beats Headphones.  The passion and magic was removed.

I'm sure there are lots of videos out there that aren't any of the above, but unfortunately, the places you can see them have gone away.  MTV used to be so great at this.  From 120 Minutes, Headbangers Ball, Yo! MTV Raps..there was a way to find new music in all genres and feel new music. Palladia and AXStv hopefully will bring this back.  I'm not talking about the TRL rotation of the same videos, but blocks of discovery. 

"Shot At The Night" has given me hope as much as Brandon Flowers and The Killers continue to give me hope for long lasting bands who will continue to make great albums.

Oh Debbie...Hi.

I saw this documentary called Blondie's New York, that aired last week on the Smithsonian Channel (yeah, i never heard of that either).  It was about the making of the album Parallel Lines.  It featured the band and producer, Mike Chapman now, talking about making of the album, the writing and the recording.  Things like this are so awesome.  They usually have the artists sitting at a mixing console, soloing tracks as they talk about them.

Hearing Debbie Harry's vocals on "One Way Or Another" solo and her describing the recording and Mike Chapman describing his perspective really takes you back into the studio in 1977.  I could watch stuff like this all day. 

Parallel Lines was a total coming of age album for me.  I was 9 when it came out and Debbie Harry was my 1st crush.  Her voice, her look (even today) is still one of the sexiest women out there. 
From the moment "Hanging on the Telephone"* starts with a UK telephone ring tone, I get transported to when I first heard the album.  It still sounds just as fresh as it did 36 years ago.
*"Hanging on the Telephone" was originally written by The Nerves

Of course, this made me feel nostalgic and sad that bands like this don't exist anymore.  So while I spent all this time listening over and over to the album, my mind subconsciously ventured to another band favorite of mine from the 90's, Letters To Cleo.

I can't believe I never drew the comparison.  Not that Letters to Cleo were trying to be Blondie, they just shared a lot of the same musical DNA. Which would easily explain my immediate attraction to the band.

Blondie.  6 members.  Guitar and Singer relationship, killer drummer and key bookends to seal it all up.

Letters to Cleo.  5 members (ok not 6 like Blondie, but stick with me).  Guitar and singer relationship, killer drummer and key bookends to seal it up.

Singer.  Both women, Deborah Harry and Kay Hanley are tough as nails, beautiful and very distinct voices with as much attitude as sex appeal.

Both Chris Stein and Mike Eisenstein (Hello?  "Stein"?) are amazing guitar players and songwriters that complemented their romantic halves.

Stacy Jones and Clem Burke, both amazing drummers who both went on to play with other artists and hold amazing drummer reputations and great hair.

I'm not looking to short change Nigel Harrison, Jimmy Destri, Frank Infante, Scott Riebling or Greg McKenna but I don't want to go too into the history that I have looked up and know way too much.  I'm a fan, what can I say...

Musically, both bands crafted great pop/rock songs.  Both had great lyrics with a great sarcasm and truth.  Romance, great chorus and just great musicianship.  Their live shows also carried this vibe and you couldn't take your eyes off of their charismatic singers.

I had the pleasure of getting to know Letters To Cleo and call a few of them friends!  Even their Manager, Creamer who I love even though he's a Red Sox fan... That's a whole other blog. 

Kay even performed one time with Sponge on Conan O'Brien as a guest while they were on tour together.  Even with her just standing in the back singing back ups, she stole the show. 

Letters to Cleo never reached the level I feel they should have, but that's not their fault.  If the label was like Chrysalis was in the 70's and 80's, I have no doubt they would have gotten there.  The business was just different. Their records to me are timeless.

Blondie keeps doing it, Debbie Harry is still hot.  The songs are forever and albums like Parallel Lines are what make me LOVE music.

I have had a great week just listening to both catalogues of 2 great bands.  If reading this gets you to revisit them on YouTube, pull albums from your catalogue or even Spotify. 

If you trashed all your old albums,  I hope you take the time to go to a record store, buy a CD, LP or even to iTunes and put these bands into your rotation for a week.   It will leave you with a smile on your face.

Blondie are New York and Letters to Cleo are one of the only things I will ever admit to loving from Boston.