Wack A Mole

One thing about life is that nothing is ever easy.  It doesn't go in a straight line, so you adjust and roll with what you got.  You'll get a curve ball every once in a while, but that's just what it is...

The place where my kid has a coach at the batting cages have a shirt that says "When life throws you a curve ball wait for your pitch because every pitch is a new beginning and a new opportunity to make something happen"... who would think you'd get Confucius types of inspiration at a batting cage.

My life has been a world of the game wack a mole.  All goes well, then something pops up.  You fix, adjust and get back on track until the next mole pops up.  Growing up, my mom had rheumatoid arthritis.  It was tough, not because she was limited in what she did.  But because she was limited in what she (and I) wanted her to do.  Most of that was physical participation in things you could just see her desire.  It wasn't going to ever happen, but that never stopped her from being the strongest, most important person in my life.  Her strength, made me able to deal with any curve that came my way.  It was like being her youngest and taking care of her with the things she couldn't do on her own, was preparing me for the wack a mole game of adulthood.  The hardest part was never her limitations, but it was more how others dealt with it.  It was never the people closest to her, it was usually the rest of the world.  You spend enough time with someone and you see how someone adapts to situations and you grow in patience.  You travel outside of that circle and face the real world.  That world that is filled with people without compassion and patience.  But that's just the way it is.  The ultimate curve ball you face on a daily basis. 

I had my first son 10 years ago.  He's an amazing kid.  The 1st year of life as parents is nothing but curve balls, but we did great.  After he turned one, we saw some regression in behavior.  At 2, we got the diagnosis that he had Autism.  There is a scale of kids with autism, and luckily for us, he was on the more mild side.  But that didn't make it any easier.  Lots to learn, lots to do and the poor little guy just has it harder than a "typical" kid, only because things take longer to learn and certain milestones come later in life.  Seeing my little guy have a harder time adapting to situations that are unfamiliar, learning something new is tough, but he always gets past it and does great.  Batting cages went from being crying and screaming for the first 2 sessions to not missing one pitch and whacking them all the way to the back of the cage.  I see him make so many breakthroughs that makes me feel so proud and good about his path forward.

As a parent, you just want your kid to enjoy his life.  have a chance at individualism.  Make great (and wrong) decisions.  And become happy at what he decides he wants to do.  We aren't there, but we are on the right path.  I get so many moments of happiness on his progress.  Then comes the curve ball.

Today, after doing some things in the morning.  He told me he wanted to go to a movie.  There wasn't anything playing that I thought he would be request, so i made the decision of going to see Man Of Steel.  He was stoked.  Got there, got our popcorn, go to our seats (always in the back row to not disturb anyone) and as the movie started, he got into a giggle fit.  The 1st 10 minutes, i spent the time saying "shhh" and "be quiet"... He gets into these fits sometimes of giggles where they aren't going to stop.  This was one of them.  I did everything  I could.  Finally I got stern and in a quiet voice said "Please stop"...all of the sudden a voice from 4 seats to my left said "Yeah, please stop".  Yeah.  That didn't sit with me well.  I turned to the guy and said "He has autism.  Give me a fucking break"  the man sunk into his seat and said "i didn't know".  He got up, walked passed us and leaned over to my son and said "sorry. enjoy the film" and he went to the front of the room.  It was interesting how quickly he changed his tune.  Which was cool that he had a heart, but it totally let the air out of my tires and killed my spirit.  It was a reality curve ball that told me that my little guy wasn't there yet.  He continued to giggle, but by this point I just wanted him to enjoy the film.  There was another woman sitting in front of us who i didn't want to disturb, so we moved to the end of the aisle.  He enjoyed the film and at the end, I wanted tot wait until everyone left to leave.  The woman got up and walked over to us.  All I could think was i was going to get another person saying something lame.  She leaned over to me and said "You did a great job" and then leaned to my son and said "You did a great job too".  I had so many things I wanted to say, but got caught up in the moment and could just say "Thank you".  She then said "I have an 8 year old with autism as well".  That killed me.  I got choked up. I took my kid and for the rest of the credits and hugged him. 

I don't think I would have been prepared for any of these curve balls if it wasn't for my mother.  That boot camp that was life of having someone who needs more help isn't easy for anyone, but It helps.