One thing about life is that nothing is ever easy. It doesn't go in a straight line, so you adjust and roll with what you got. You'll get a curve ball every once in a while, but that's just what it is...
The place where my kid has a coach at the batting cages have a shirt that says "When life throws you a curve ball wait for
your pitch because every pitch is a new beginning and a new opportunity
to make something happen"... who would think you'd get Confucius types of inspiration at a batting cage.
My life has been a world of the game wack a mole. All goes well, then something pops up. You fix, adjust and get back on track until the next mole pops up. Growing up, my mom had rheumatoid arthritis. It was tough, not because she was limited in what she did. But because she was limited in what she (and I) wanted her to do. Most of that was physical participation in things you could just see her desire. It wasn't going to ever happen, but that never stopped her from being the strongest, most important person in my life. Her strength, made me able to deal with any curve that came my way. It was like being her youngest and taking care of her with the things she couldn't do on her own, was preparing me for the wack a mole game of adulthood. The hardest part was never her limitations, but it was more how others dealt with it. It was never the people closest to her, it was usually the rest of the world. You spend enough time with someone and you see how someone adapts to situations and you grow in patience. You travel outside of that circle and face the real world. That world that is filled with people without compassion and patience. But that's just the way it is. The ultimate curve ball you face on a daily basis.
I had my first son 10 years ago. He's an amazing kid. The 1st year of life as parents is nothing but curve balls, but we did great. After he turned one, we saw some regression in behavior. At 2, we got the diagnosis that he had Autism. There is a scale of kids with autism, and luckily for us, he was on the more mild side. But that didn't make it any easier. Lots to learn, lots to do and the poor little guy just has it harder than a "typical" kid, only because things take longer to learn and certain milestones come later in life. Seeing my little guy have a harder time adapting to situations that are unfamiliar, learning something new is tough, but he always gets past it and does great. Batting cages went from being crying and screaming for the first 2 sessions to not missing one pitch and whacking them all the way to the back of the cage. I see him make so many breakthroughs that makes me feel so proud and good about his path forward.
As a parent, you just want your kid to enjoy his life. have a chance at individualism. Make great (and wrong) decisions. And become happy at what he decides he wants to do. We aren't there, but we are on the right path. I get so many moments of happiness on his progress. Then comes the curve ball.
Today, after doing some things in the morning. He told me he wanted to go to a movie. There wasn't anything playing that I thought he would be request, so i made the decision of going to see Man Of Steel. He was stoked. Got there, got our popcorn, go to our seats (always in the back row to not disturb anyone) and as the movie started, he got into a giggle fit. The 1st 10 minutes, i spent the time saying "shhh" and "be quiet"... He gets into these fits sometimes of giggles where they aren't going to stop. This was one of them. I did everything I could. Finally I got stern and in a quiet voice said "Please stop"...all of the sudden a voice from 4 seats to my left said "Yeah, please stop". Yeah. That didn't sit with me well. I turned to the guy and said "He has autism. Give me a fucking break" the man sunk into his seat and said "i didn't know". He got up, walked passed us and leaned over to my son and said "sorry. enjoy the film" and he went to the front of the room. It was interesting how quickly he changed his tune. Which was cool that he had a heart, but it totally let the air out of my tires and killed my spirit. It was a reality curve ball that told me that my little guy wasn't there yet. He continued to giggle, but by this point I just wanted him to enjoy the film. There was another woman sitting in front of us who i didn't want to disturb, so we moved to the end of the aisle. He enjoyed the film and at the end, I wanted tot wait until everyone left to leave. The woman got up and walked over to us. All I could think was i was going to get another person saying something lame. She leaned over to me and said "You did a great job" and then leaned to my son and said "You did a great job too". I had so many things I wanted to say, but got caught up in the moment and could just say "Thank you". She then said "I have an 8 year old with autism as well". That killed me. I got choked up. I took my kid and for the rest of the credits and hugged him.
I don't think I would have been prepared for any of these curve balls if it wasn't for my mother. That boot camp that was life of having someone who needs more help isn't easy for anyone, but It helps.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Friday, December 14, 2012
Welcome to my Nightmare
This morning I took my son to school. It was just like any other day. He's 10 and I have been super protective of him his entire life. I have a habit of dropping him off at school, walking him to class and watching him get settled in.
For the last couple of weeks, I have been working on having him walk to class on his own. Give him his Independence.
So, this morning, I decided today was the day. We got out of the car, I walked with him to the gate, said goodbye and said "have a great day" and gave him a kiss.
He walked on his own and turned twice to look back to see if I was in my same place shadowing him. I wasn't and he kept going with a smile.
I realized that it wasn't him that needed me to walk him to class, but it was me that needed it. It's so hard to accept the fact that kids grow up. I actually teared up as I watched my little man on his own. It was the first moment in my life as a dad, where I realized he's his own person. My Little boy is so smart, so sweet and such an inspiration to me. He has his challenges and will never be 100% on his own, but he's on his way and I know if he gets the character and drive to succeed that is in his genetic make up, he's going to be great.
I called my wife to share the feeling and I know she also got choked up. It's an indescribable feeling when you have that moment of pride for a child and fear of their independence.
Then I came home to see the news of the tragedy in Connecticut. My joy turned to sadness. For a parent, taking your kids to school and watching them grow is such a daily milestone. School is a place to learn, to make friends and to become a person. We look to teachers and school as a place of safety. When I drop off my kids, i feel comfortable and confidant with their caregivers and educators.
A day like today, really makes you realize that nothing is ever in your control. There are crazy, disturbed monsters in the world that we can't always be around to protect them. I think there should be a word that was stronger than tragedy.
That feeling of letting my son go on his own to his classroom...the fear, the pride, the letting go of the chord that I felt so good about as taken in a moment when the reality of life and the world was put in front of my eyes by one monster and his violation and disrespect for innocence and life this morning.
I look forward to picking up Miles this afternoon, looking at his beautiful face and giving him a hug. As long as I'm around him, nobody will ever hurt him without a fight.
For the last couple of weeks, I have been working on having him walk to class on his own. Give him his Independence.
So, this morning, I decided today was the day. We got out of the car, I walked with him to the gate, said goodbye and said "have a great day" and gave him a kiss.
He walked on his own and turned twice to look back to see if I was in my same place shadowing him. I wasn't and he kept going with a smile.
I realized that it wasn't him that needed me to walk him to class, but it was me that needed it. It's so hard to accept the fact that kids grow up. I actually teared up as I watched my little man on his own. It was the first moment in my life as a dad, where I realized he's his own person. My Little boy is so smart, so sweet and such an inspiration to me. He has his challenges and will never be 100% on his own, but he's on his way and I know if he gets the character and drive to succeed that is in his genetic make up, he's going to be great.
I called my wife to share the feeling and I know she also got choked up. It's an indescribable feeling when you have that moment of pride for a child and fear of their independence.
Then I came home to see the news of the tragedy in Connecticut. My joy turned to sadness. For a parent, taking your kids to school and watching them grow is such a daily milestone. School is a place to learn, to make friends and to become a person. We look to teachers and school as a place of safety. When I drop off my kids, i feel comfortable and confidant with their caregivers and educators.
A day like today, really makes you realize that nothing is ever in your control. There are crazy, disturbed monsters in the world that we can't always be around to protect them. I think there should be a word that was stronger than tragedy.
That feeling of letting my son go on his own to his classroom...the fear, the pride, the letting go of the chord that I felt so good about as taken in a moment when the reality of life and the world was put in front of my eyes by one monster and his violation and disrespect for innocence and life this morning.
I look forward to picking up Miles this afternoon, looking at his beautiful face and giving him a hug. As long as I'm around him, nobody will ever hurt him without a fight.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
and not consolation
For some reason, over the weekend I thought of Jeff Buckley. I went through my CD's to find his album Grace. I don't think I've listened to the album in years. When I put it on, it made me very sad. Sad to think about how he died and how early in his life. The fact that what had been released was only scratching the surface of his potential.
I knew Jeff from working at Columbia Records and from my neighborhood. To say we were friends would be an insult to his friends, so I would say we were friendly. When we would see each other out, we would always have a real fun chat about absolutely nothing, but he always was really nice and such a talent.
But, listening to Grace, brought back more feeling for me than just those for Jeff. Hearing the song "Last Goodbye" brought me back to the time of when I worked at Columbia. The memory is so amazing, because I could feel and remember everything from the time I was there. My friend Steve Berkowitz, who signed Jeff to Columbia, had his office 2 doors down from mine, so when he would be listening to tracks, they would come through my walls. So, I could walk over to his office and ask him questions about it or just give my opinion. You see, this time I'm talking about was a time when all of us in the A&R department worked together. Not together in the same office, but together as friends and supporters.
This period of time (for me at least) wasn't in this place the whole time I was there. This was after David Kahne came in as head of the department and under the direction of our boss Don Ienner, the label was going to be lead by A&R. Our signings were to be done for both creative growth and commercial success. Some were instant and some we growers over time. The idea was great and maybe really stuck for a few years, but in the end, you need to sell records (it is a business, right) and the patience for growth got a lot shorter. Not to say it didn't exist, it was just a lot harder to wait for something to become (financially) big for the investment. I get it. It's a bummer, but I get it.
Anyway...so this period of time, the people I had the honor of working with were A&R people. I'm talking about people who LOVE music and wanted to create careers (and of course have hits and sell records...yes you can do all of the above at once). This is before the photo-op A&R people or political a&r people came to the company (these types were usually the same guys). This is why I say it was a short period.
We would go to bat for each other. Give advice. Constructive criticism. Sure, there was definite competition, but it wasn't an angry type, it was only because you didn't want to lose out priority to someone else. But again, it wasn't bitter, it was healthy competition.
During this time, there were young guns like me, who had the passion, but lacked the experience. There were the mid level executives that had the passion and the experience. These guys were there for me and other friends to help us learn and guide us through both the creative and corporate waters. Then there were the veterans who (in my eyes) were my elders (like "Uncle" Don Devito or "Papi" Mike Corbett), whom I respected, admired and went to for everything. The guys that would take time out of their day to tell me old stories of working with legends, to ask me how they can help by speaking to the bosses. It was a true team of what real trickle down guidance would look like. In the end, you would gain experience through success. Real on the job training. But, trust me, without these people looking out for you and helping, you would never have gotten there.
The department didn't work in a state of fear. I wasn't there to take anyone's job and they weren't there to steal my artist is they did well to take credit oh don't forget the photo OP.
This was a magical time for me. I'm sure other people had a similar type of experience, but those who worked with me during this period will totally understand and recall how it was (or maybe think I was high and it was never like this). That snapshot of how it should always be in a creative environment. I had a good run while at Columbia and other than being my bootcamp, it's my fondest memory of my career.
I have been so fortunate in my career where I was employed at several other companies. I have met and worked with so many amazing people and have had the honor of helping so many talented people. To see where they are now, from where they were when I met them is so rewarding. I have also seen where a lot of the most talented people I know fell into the dark from all the changes that happened over the years through mergers, redundancies and the general collapse of the music business and this makes me sad.
I watched the business change as I would move from company to company and realize that I will never have that same experience I had for that period of time I had at Columbia. The competition, the fear that others had, the backstabbing I witnessed was just a canary in the coal mine of what was going to happen. Here we are not 15 years later and we are really just down to a handful of labels, no records stores and a lot of unemployed people.
What makes me bummed in the current environment is the talent that is hired in the entry level of the companies who have no people there to guide them. Like I said earlier, if it wasn't for these guys in my early years, I would never have gotten anywhere. There are so many people with the experience that exist today that could be that role at the labels, but they seem to be passed over. So what I have seen has been a bunch of young, enthusiastic kids getting hired, who in the end have really short careers due to the fact that A&R is more than going to the clubs and knowing what bands are cool. The veterans that are at the labels are scared to death to lose their jobs, so don't really mentor these guys to the degree they need it, so you end up with a bunch of stillborn artists and stiff releases (and a loss of jobs for these under experienced guys). For the ones that squeak through, it's almost like a miracle (but it does happen).
The a&r process is a lot like the idea of building from the middle class out. With a strong group of well experienced (and helpful) people in the middle helping those learn and excel, you would grow a strong foundation and have better odds at success. It's the middle (the core) that strengthens it all. But, I guess it's not cost effective when you have over paid executives and really underpaid entry level people, not to mention the increase of quick turnover, conveyer belt artists that have a really, really short time to succeed before it's onto the next.
I find so much joy in finding a young musician, or a young talent booker, young a&r people with a job at a label or a student who just loves music and giving them help or guidance to meet their true potential. There is such a reward when you see others succeed for me. Sure, I'm currently unemployed and maybe writing this post is therapy for myself to just get it out or maybe it's hope for someone to rediscover me...who knows.
I just know that without the support system we had at Columbia Records, I don't think myself and many of my former colleges could have ever had long term careers.
I made some of my best friends over these years. Some I speak to daily, some monthly and some hardly ever, but I know we all shared the same experience and we will forever be connected because of that.
I can't listen to the 90's station, Lithium or Back Spin on Sirius without hearing a song during an hour where I can say Nick, Josh, Jim, Mitchell, Mary, Randy, Matt, Faith, Benjie or Steve signed that. It's pretty amazing.
The day I heard the news of Jeff Buckley's passing, I thought of Steve. I was sad like everyone else who was touched by his music. Jeff was Steve's signing, but at the Columbia A&R department, he was all of our artist. That support system was what made us so strong.
Jeff tragically died walking into a river by himself and got caught up in a strong and violent current that swept him away into the dark.
As I wax poetic (not Wax Ecstatic) about this period of time at Columbia Records, I feel as though this time also got pulled by a strong current of change where the art and family support system on the creative side of the music business has also disappeared into the dark.
I hope it can come back to the light and not be our Last Goodbye...
I knew Jeff from working at Columbia Records and from my neighborhood. To say we were friends would be an insult to his friends, so I would say we were friendly. When we would see each other out, we would always have a real fun chat about absolutely nothing, but he always was really nice and such a talent.
But, listening to Grace, brought back more feeling for me than just those for Jeff. Hearing the song "Last Goodbye" brought me back to the time of when I worked at Columbia. The memory is so amazing, because I could feel and remember everything from the time I was there. My friend Steve Berkowitz, who signed Jeff to Columbia, had his office 2 doors down from mine, so when he would be listening to tracks, they would come through my walls. So, I could walk over to his office and ask him questions about it or just give my opinion. You see, this time I'm talking about was a time when all of us in the A&R department worked together. Not together in the same office, but together as friends and supporters.
This period of time (for me at least) wasn't in this place the whole time I was there. This was after David Kahne came in as head of the department and under the direction of our boss Don Ienner, the label was going to be lead by A&R. Our signings were to be done for both creative growth and commercial success. Some were instant and some we growers over time. The idea was great and maybe really stuck for a few years, but in the end, you need to sell records (it is a business, right) and the patience for growth got a lot shorter. Not to say it didn't exist, it was just a lot harder to wait for something to become (financially) big for the investment. I get it. It's a bummer, but I get it.
Anyway...so this period of time, the people I had the honor of working with were A&R people. I'm talking about people who LOVE music and wanted to create careers (and of course have hits and sell records...yes you can do all of the above at once). This is before the photo-op A&R people or political a&r people came to the company (these types were usually the same guys). This is why I say it was a short period.
We would go to bat for each other. Give advice. Constructive criticism. Sure, there was definite competition, but it wasn't an angry type, it was only because you didn't want to lose out priority to someone else. But again, it wasn't bitter, it was healthy competition.
During this time, there were young guns like me, who had the passion, but lacked the experience. There were the mid level executives that had the passion and the experience. These guys were there for me and other friends to help us learn and guide us through both the creative and corporate waters. Then there were the veterans who (in my eyes) were my elders (like "Uncle" Don Devito or "Papi" Mike Corbett), whom I respected, admired and went to for everything. The guys that would take time out of their day to tell me old stories of working with legends, to ask me how they can help by speaking to the bosses. It was a true team of what real trickle down guidance would look like. In the end, you would gain experience through success. Real on the job training. But, trust me, without these people looking out for you and helping, you would never have gotten there.
The department didn't work in a state of fear. I wasn't there to take anyone's job and they weren't there to steal my artist is they did well to take credit oh don't forget the photo OP.
This was a magical time for me. I'm sure other people had a similar type of experience, but those who worked with me during this period will totally understand and recall how it was (or maybe think I was high and it was never like this). That snapshot of how it should always be in a creative environment. I had a good run while at Columbia and other than being my bootcamp, it's my fondest memory of my career.
I have been so fortunate in my career where I was employed at several other companies. I have met and worked with so many amazing people and have had the honor of helping so many talented people. To see where they are now, from where they were when I met them is so rewarding. I have also seen where a lot of the most talented people I know fell into the dark from all the changes that happened over the years through mergers, redundancies and the general collapse of the music business and this makes me sad.
I watched the business change as I would move from company to company and realize that I will never have that same experience I had for that period of time I had at Columbia. The competition, the fear that others had, the backstabbing I witnessed was just a canary in the coal mine of what was going to happen. Here we are not 15 years later and we are really just down to a handful of labels, no records stores and a lot of unemployed people.
What makes me bummed in the current environment is the talent that is hired in the entry level of the companies who have no people there to guide them. Like I said earlier, if it wasn't for these guys in my early years, I would never have gotten anywhere. There are so many people with the experience that exist today that could be that role at the labels, but they seem to be passed over. So what I have seen has been a bunch of young, enthusiastic kids getting hired, who in the end have really short careers due to the fact that A&R is more than going to the clubs and knowing what bands are cool. The veterans that are at the labels are scared to death to lose their jobs, so don't really mentor these guys to the degree they need it, so you end up with a bunch of stillborn artists and stiff releases (and a loss of jobs for these under experienced guys). For the ones that squeak through, it's almost like a miracle (but it does happen).
The a&r process is a lot like the idea of building from the middle class out. With a strong group of well experienced (and helpful) people in the middle helping those learn and excel, you would grow a strong foundation and have better odds at success. It's the middle (the core) that strengthens it all. But, I guess it's not cost effective when you have over paid executives and really underpaid entry level people, not to mention the increase of quick turnover, conveyer belt artists that have a really, really short time to succeed before it's onto the next.
I find so much joy in finding a young musician, or a young talent booker, young a&r people with a job at a label or a student who just loves music and giving them help or guidance to meet their true potential. There is such a reward when you see others succeed for me. Sure, I'm currently unemployed and maybe writing this post is therapy for myself to just get it out or maybe it's hope for someone to rediscover me...who knows.
I just know that without the support system we had at Columbia Records, I don't think myself and many of my former colleges could have ever had long term careers.
I made some of my best friends over these years. Some I speak to daily, some monthly and some hardly ever, but I know we all shared the same experience and we will forever be connected because of that.
I can't listen to the 90's station, Lithium or Back Spin on Sirius without hearing a song during an hour where I can say Nick, Josh, Jim, Mitchell, Mary, Randy, Matt, Faith, Benjie or Steve signed that. It's pretty amazing.
The day I heard the news of Jeff Buckley's passing, I thought of Steve. I was sad like everyone else who was touched by his music. Jeff was Steve's signing, but at the Columbia A&R department, he was all of our artist. That support system was what made us so strong.
Jeff tragically died walking into a river by himself and got caught up in a strong and violent current that swept him away into the dark.
As I wax poetic (not Wax Ecstatic) about this period of time at Columbia Records, I feel as though this time also got pulled by a strong current of change where the art and family support system on the creative side of the music business has also disappeared into the dark.
I hope it can come back to the light and not be our Last Goodbye...
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Father Time
Has it really been almost 4 months since I posted last? Wow... and so little has happened. It's pretty interesting to reflect on where the time has gone and why I stopped any form of banter that I spew on this page. After said reflection, I can honestly say that nothing happened. Just life.
Summer came and went. Kids home bored, kids at camp, me bored, wife works...
Things of note include watching both seasons of The Walking Dead and Both seasons of Boardwalk Empire. I really love TV and love the fact that you can download (legally) these programs. Of course, now I hate waiting a week for the next episode.
Music: Nothing new. New music pretty much sucks. Rediscover old records and realize how much music sucks today. Justin Bieber thew up on stage while the track of him singing kept playing, which made him run off stage. This of course, made me think of Milli Vanilli on the Club MTV tour, where their hit "Girl You Know It's True" skipped win the middle of the show "Girl you know its, Girl you know its, girl you know its..." where Rob Milli (or was it Rob Vanilli) then ran off stage.
All these hacks are the same... I feel like Philip Seymour Hoffman playing Lester Bangs in Almost Famous now. Is this a sign of age? bitterness? or truth? Perhaps a bit of all...
Anyway... I hope to get back to this blog on a regular, because even if nobody reads it, It's a nice outlet to just talk about nothing.
Speaking of talking about nothing, Jerry Seinfeld has an amazing web series called Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee... It's great. My personal favorite is the Ricky Gervais episode.
Summer came and went. Kids home bored, kids at camp, me bored, wife works...
Music: Nothing new. New music pretty much sucks. Rediscover old records and realize how much music sucks today. Justin Bieber thew up on stage while the track of him singing kept playing, which made him run off stage. This of course, made me think of Milli Vanilli on the Club MTV tour, where their hit "Girl You Know It's True" skipped win the middle of the show "Girl you know its, Girl you know its, girl you know its..." where Rob Milli (or was it Rob Vanilli) then ran off stage.
All these hacks are the same... I feel like Philip Seymour Hoffman playing Lester Bangs in Almost Famous now. Is this a sign of age? bitterness? or truth? Perhaps a bit of all...
Anyway... I hope to get back to this blog on a regular, because even if nobody reads it, It's a nice outlet to just talk about nothing.
Speaking of talking about nothing, Jerry Seinfeld has an amazing web series called Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee... It's great. My personal favorite is the Ricky Gervais episode.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
No Sense In Us Cavemen Burning Our Hands
Today is Fathers Day. I've been a dad for 9 years, but for some reason, this year seemed to be the first time when I felt like it was recognized by many friends and the wife. Not to say she never recognized it, but this one felt different. I'm sure it's because it's really the first year where I haven't had a full time office job and our 2nd kid is now 2. Huge difference between 1 and 2. At one, they are little things..at 2, they are little people.
It was really nice to get this unexpected recognition. Mostly, because being a stay at home dad just becomes a job and like most jobs, you tend to feel overlooked for your achievements (understandably, because they are expected of you...just like at an office job) and criticized for for under performance (again, just like an office job). But, being put on a pedestal and being given a day, really is rewarding.
I started out the day getting up early to go surf with my cousin and nephew... no better way to start fathers day. And on my way called my dad. We had a great chat and the conversation made me reflect on a lot of things.
I always looked at my father as my own personal Ward Cleaver. He worked real hard all day. Was a loving husband and cared about his two boys. Like Ward, he always wore a dress shirt and slacks and dress shoes. Would help us with our homework (sometimes got really into it and would actually DO my homework). But, really set the bar high for me as a Father.
I had the great fortune of being raised by 2 great parents. Both brought different things to my life, but both were equally important. My Mom and I were extremely close and until she died. We would speak daily (usually 2 times a day) and she helped me though a lot of things. It's tough not having her around. My Father was important because he taught me the importance of working hard and discipline. He taught me how to be patient, pick you battles and always go through life with understanding for others.
I actually recently found all my report card from High School and after reading them, called my dad to apologize for being an idiot in school. Sure, I graduated, finished college in 3 years, but man, for being the son of an overachieving genius, I must have been a disappointment on the academic side for sure.
After my mother died, my dad and I went thought a bit of a rough patch, but that was short lived. People get emotional and confusion at the loss of a family member, but in the end, the example he set for me growing up was much more valuable to me than any issue we had. You only have one father.
I feel bad for people that don't have that kind of relationship with their families. Understandably, many are for good reasons that make it so the should never communicate, but I have seen more that usually are from petty or short term arguments that blow out of control to where they can't put the cap on the bottle again. It's kind of sad to watch, because when its too late to fix it, it becomes a thing that you live with forever. It haunts your soul and you wish for that one more chance to say "I'm sorry" or "I love you".
I came home to two wonderful card from my wife and my kids. OK... both from my wife. And they were the most touching cards a dad could ask for. I felt important. Important to my family and recognized for what I have done being at home taking care of things. Yesterday, I was down on where I am. A former executive folding laundry and doing household chores. Today, I feel like I'm making a difference. I hope to be Ward Cleaver to my boys.
I don't know if this feeling will last. It's a tough transition for any stay at home dad. But, If I'm making the same kind of impression on my boys that my folks made on me to shape who I am. It's a good day.
Oh...How times have changed...
It was really nice to get this unexpected recognition. Mostly, because being a stay at home dad just becomes a job and like most jobs, you tend to feel overlooked for your achievements (understandably, because they are expected of you...just like at an office job) and criticized for for under performance (again, just like an office job). But, being put on a pedestal and being given a day, really is rewarding.
I started out the day getting up early to go surf with my cousin and nephew... no better way to start fathers day. And on my way called my dad. We had a great chat and the conversation made me reflect on a lot of things.
I always looked at my father as my own personal Ward Cleaver. He worked real hard all day. Was a loving husband and cared about his two boys. Like Ward, he always wore a dress shirt and slacks and dress shoes. Would help us with our homework (sometimes got really into it and would actually DO my homework). But, really set the bar high for me as a Father.
I had the great fortune of being raised by 2 great parents. Both brought different things to my life, but both were equally important. My Mom and I were extremely close and until she died. We would speak daily (usually 2 times a day) and she helped me though a lot of things. It's tough not having her around. My Father was important because he taught me the importance of working hard and discipline. He taught me how to be patient, pick you battles and always go through life with understanding for others.
I actually recently found all my report card from High School and after reading them, called my dad to apologize for being an idiot in school. Sure, I graduated, finished college in 3 years, but man, for being the son of an overachieving genius, I must have been a disappointment on the academic side for sure.
After my mother died, my dad and I went thought a bit of a rough patch, but that was short lived. People get emotional and confusion at the loss of a family member, but in the end, the example he set for me growing up was much more valuable to me than any issue we had. You only have one father.
I feel bad for people that don't have that kind of relationship with their families. Understandably, many are for good reasons that make it so the should never communicate, but I have seen more that usually are from petty or short term arguments that blow out of control to where they can't put the cap on the bottle again. It's kind of sad to watch, because when its too late to fix it, it becomes a thing that you live with forever. It haunts your soul and you wish for that one more chance to say "I'm sorry" or "I love you".
I came home to two wonderful card from my wife and my kids. OK... both from my wife. And they were the most touching cards a dad could ask for. I felt important. Important to my family and recognized for what I have done being at home taking care of things. Yesterday, I was down on where I am. A former executive folding laundry and doing household chores. Today, I feel like I'm making a difference. I hope to be Ward Cleaver to my boys.
I don't know if this feeling will last. It's a tough transition for any stay at home dad. But, If I'm making the same kind of impression on my boys that my folks made on me to shape who I am. It's a good day.
Oh...How times have changed...
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Chili Con Carne
Ever since I was a little kid growing up in NY... One meal that I always loved was the Chili my dad would make. I remember him getting up super early and starting it up and letting it cook for a long time. We would eat it that night and it was great as a left over. Chili actually tastes better the 2nd day. No idea why. Maybe it's just me. Oh and as I got older, the last thing you wanted to smell first thing int he morning when you had a hangover, was his chili... just a side note from my memories.
As I became a dad, I wanted to share this fine recipe and meal with my boys. Of course, they won't eat it. So much for tradition. My wife loves it and we really can have it a few times during the week and is always easy to reheat.
I wish I could say the recipe was some magical family one, handed down from generation to generation... but it's really just from the New York Times cookbook.
I actually called my dad a couple years ago to get "the secret recipe". That's when the balloon was burst. NY Times. Anyway... It's awesome.
Ingredients:
3 Tablespoons of Butter or Olive Oil
1 Large Onion
2 Garlic cloves, minced
1 pound chopped beef (I use turkey)
1 1/3 cups of canned or diced tomatoes with the juice (that's equal to one 14.5 oz can)
1 green pepper, minced
1 cup water
2 tablespoons of chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin seed, crushed
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon celery seed
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/8 teaspoon basil
1 small bay leaf
1 can of kidney beans (drain the liquid before using or else it makes it gross and sweet)
Directions:
So the most important thing I learned was to prep. Meaning get everything in order before you start. That way, you aren't cursing looking for stuff while something is cooking, etc. If you have everything ready, once you start, it's just about adding. Also makes it easy to clean after.
1. Mince the onion and garlic cloves and place in a dish. Mince the green pepper (I like to drain some of the juice so it's not too watery) and mix all your spices into a bowl and set aside.
2. Heat the butter or oil in a large pot. Add the onions and garlic and saute until golden brown. While this is happening and you are stirring the onions and garlic so they don't burn. In a separate pan, place your meat and brown it.
3. Once both are nice and browned, add the meat to the onion and garlic and mix them well.
4. Add the remaining ingredients to the pot and bring to a boil. Once it's boiling, reduce to a simmer and cook uncovered for 3 hours or until the sauce is as thick as you desire it to be.
5. After 3 hours or when you are satisfied with the thickness of the chili, add the can of kidney beans and cook through (about an additional 10-15 minutes on simmer.
6. That's it. Serve and eat with chips or plain. The total time this takes is about 3 hours and 15 minutes to 3 and a half hours. The prep itself is about 15 minutes, the rest is waiting. Your house will smell awesome and like I said, the meal is great on day two. If you have to make more, just double the ingredients. It never goes wrong.
As I became a dad, I wanted to share this fine recipe and meal with my boys. Of course, they won't eat it. So much for tradition. My wife loves it and we really can have it a few times during the week and is always easy to reheat.
I wish I could say the recipe was some magical family one, handed down from generation to generation... but it's really just from the New York Times cookbook.
I actually called my dad a couple years ago to get "the secret recipe". That's when the balloon was burst. NY Times. Anyway... It's awesome.
Ingredients:
3 Tablespoons of Butter or Olive Oil
1 Large Onion
2 Garlic cloves, minced
1 pound chopped beef (I use turkey)
1 1/3 cups of canned or diced tomatoes with the juice (that's equal to one 14.5 oz can)
1 green pepper, minced
1 cup water
1 teaspoon cumin seed, crushed
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon celery seed
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/8 teaspoon basil
1 small bay leaf
1 can of kidney beans (drain the liquid before using or else it makes it gross and sweet)
Directions:
So the most important thing I learned was to prep. Meaning get everything in order before you start. That way, you aren't cursing looking for stuff while something is cooking, etc. If you have everything ready, once you start, it's just about adding. Also makes it easy to clean after.
1. Mince the onion and garlic cloves and place in a dish. Mince the green pepper (I like to drain some of the juice so it's not too watery) and mix all your spices into a bowl and set aside.
2. Heat the butter or oil in a large pot. Add the onions and garlic and saute until golden brown. While this is happening and you are stirring the onions and garlic so they don't burn. In a separate pan, place your meat and brown it.
3. Once both are nice and browned, add the meat to the onion and garlic and mix them well.
4. Add the remaining ingredients to the pot and bring to a boil. Once it's boiling, reduce to a simmer and cook uncovered for 3 hours or until the sauce is as thick as you desire it to be.
5. After 3 hours or when you are satisfied with the thickness of the chili, add the can of kidney beans and cook through (about an additional 10-15 minutes on simmer.
6. That's it. Serve and eat with chips or plain. The total time this takes is about 3 hours and 15 minutes to 3 and a half hours. The prep itself is about 15 minutes, the rest is waiting. Your house will smell awesome and like I said, the meal is great on day two. If you have to make more, just double the ingredients. It never goes wrong.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Stand Up Chicken
This is one of the easiest things to make. It's healthy, delicious and everyone loves it... other than vegetarians, Sorry.
I will say, this is the one meal (as easy as it is) makes me squirm a little in the prep process. I like to pretend that food I eat was never alive once. So, the seasoning of this chicken, you can't escape the reality of what you are cooking.
As a chicken eater, I can't do bones. I don't like eating anything with bones. But, after this meal is cooked, for some reason (maybe it's how long I cook it), I don't mind.
This meal is a two step process and takes about an hour and a half.
Ingredients:
One Full Chicken
Any Season All - I use McCormick- (Now Morton) Season All Seasoned Salt
Directions
1. Preheat the oven to 350.
2. Prepare the Cookie Sheet and Stand Up Chicken holder by covering with aluminum foil. This isn't necessary, but it takes no time and will save you so much time at the end (clean up).
3. Wash the chicken thoroughly and pat it dry.
4. Cover the chicken generously with the Season All to coat the entire chicken. This includes under the wing and under the drumsticks
5. Place the chicken on the standard place in oven for 90 minutes. It should be cooked through by this point. I personally like it very crispy, so leave it in for an addition 10-15 minutes. Remove from oven.
6. When cutting the chicken, make sure to leave it on the stand. Your first cut will release a lot of juice. That's good. From there, Slice as desired and serve.
7. For a side, I live to just make some rice and corn. The kids really dig that. You can make anything really. It's chicken.
Whatever you don't use, you can just slice up and use later in a salad or as another meal later. Enjoy.
I will say, this is the one meal (as easy as it is) makes me squirm a little in the prep process. I like to pretend that food I eat was never alive once. So, the seasoning of this chicken, you can't escape the reality of what you are cooking.
As a chicken eater, I can't do bones. I don't like eating anything with bones. But, after this meal is cooked, for some reason (maybe it's how long I cook it), I don't mind.
This meal is a two step process and takes about an hour and a half.
Ingredients:
Directions
1. Preheat the oven to 350.
2. Prepare the Cookie Sheet and Stand Up Chicken holder by covering with aluminum foil. This isn't necessary, but it takes no time and will save you so much time at the end (clean up).
3. Wash the chicken thoroughly and pat it dry.
4. Cover the chicken generously with the Season All to coat the entire chicken. This includes under the wing and under the drumsticks
5. Place the chicken on the standard place in oven for 90 minutes. It should be cooked through by this point. I personally like it very crispy, so leave it in for an addition 10-15 minutes. Remove from oven.
6. When cutting the chicken, make sure to leave it on the stand. Your first cut will release a lot of juice. That's good. From there, Slice as desired and serve.
7. For a side, I live to just make some rice and corn. The kids really dig that. You can make anything really. It's chicken.
Whatever you don't use, you can just slice up and use later in a salad or as another meal later. Enjoy.
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